pet peeves and slate-grey skies

K,

It's a bleak-ass morning here, but i guess Monday mornings usually are? I feel like shit on a shingle. My throat is tired of smoking cigarettes, I'm sick of the smell. In less than an hour I have to head out to work at the PW for the last time...not this past Thursday, but the Thursday before (that would be more than 10 days ago now) I emailed my boss to tell her I couldn't make it in on Monday because I had a job interview. I know I'm not supposed to call out Mondays, but I think 4 days notice and the excuse that I fucking need to pay rent next month should be enough, but whatever. Then I let her know that I could no longer afford to do free labor, and that I needed to devote my time to finding paid work. I said that if there was a position open at the PW I'd love to be considered, but that I just couldn't afford to continue the internship (anyway, my 3 months was up back at the end of freakin' November). Anyway, the reason I'm irritated is that she never bothered to email me back. Not to scold, or interrogate, offer condolences or even acknowledge that she'd received the email. Whatever.

So perhaps you can imagine my lack of enthusiasm about showing up today. But show up I must, sadly. I may not have been the most involved or reliable intern, but I've done hours and hours of work for nothing, and you'd think that would be deserving of a return email.

Anyway. Yesterday Jessye and I went shopping for props for Kim's birthday party - it's weird that you don't already know about because it's what everybody's been talking about for a week now! In a couple of weeks, for Kim's birthday we are going to stage a complete performance of A Midsummer Night's Dream!!! I'm super hype. People will be ridiculously clad (Ste in high drag as Titania, me as Oberon so we can work out some of our bitter old married couple issues on the stage), making fools of themselves and getting drunker by the act. It sounds like so much fun. So J and I retrieved some fake flowers to scatter about the yard, and glitter for both the set and the actors.

So that's what I'm looking forward to as I try not to despair about lack of funds and the possibility that I may have to work this week. I guess I should be excited to be done with PW, but no one will be home when I get home and I imagine myself feeling more bitter than relieved. But that could just be because that's how I feel now.

In other news, a new roommate search is in the works posthaste. Zayne will be out of here in 6 weeks...it still seems like we barely got finished unpacking and we're doing a roommate search again. And all will still be up in the air until we find someone suitable who's also willing to sign a lease for 08-09. There's always so much to do, and everyday is one more spent waiting to here about financial aid for grad school...if I don't get any, I feel like a nervous breakdown will be completely called for. So I'm just hoping that when I hear back from Temple I can move towards at least having some vision of the future that includes some semblance of financial stability. Or stability at all. Things have gone to shambles really fuckin fast here at the end of my year off.

The only thing to do is wait and see.

-Bito