Wednesday, February 27, 2008

the same boat


Reading your post makes me want to laugh in that evil way that people laugh when others share their misery - so apologies in advance if you hear my cackles come rumbling 'cross the Pacific. We have both been cursed with this thing called an English degree...and let me tell you something: people think this means we don't have skills. But I am here to tell you that we have mad skills. That we are the best people in the world at what we do (none better, for damn sure).

(Un?)fortunately, we possess the unfailing ability to maximize our grades and minimize our effort. Or: we are the best nominees for getting drunk instead of going to class...for producing enlightening discussion and insightful essays without doing the assigned reading...for passing classes any ordinary mortal in our position would have given up on after the midterm. We are the elite slackers of the academic world. And I, for one, am damn proud.

Not that this speaks to our hireability. As we can both attest to.

I was actually just thinking about this. Ste's pretty much given up on passing his geology lab midterm, having slept through 1/3 of the actual labs already. And I was thinking, damn, studying my ass off for a week and passing a geology midterm against all odds and expectations seems like just the kind of challenge I would have welcomed in my undergrad days (those good old Long Island days!). It would be like my own personal version of an 80s movie montage...Van Halen blaring in the background, the camera would fade from one shot to another as I absorbed all of the information I could about different kinds of rocks from my book, from the internet, museums...and it would end in a tense scene where I'm in the lab, handling rocks I've never seen before in my life but recognize, a memorized fact buried somewhere in my overcrowded and impressively large brain. I silently mouth their names as the fingers on my left hand slip over the surfaces of the rocks and the fingers on my right hand scribble feverishly what I already know are all the correct answers in my little blue book. It's hardly a surprise when the grades go up the next week and I didn't get a single one wrong.

Or: I'm going stir crazy shut up in this room with no job and no prospects. I'm ticking off the days until grad school with an increasingly trembling hand.

So really, what do I think you should do? What I think you'd be great at? Translating the written word. You told me once you take your time speaking because you want to be understood. I have always admired you for that. (Being, as I am, one of those people who says as many things as possible in the hope that some of it will make sense. Whatever, it's my trademark.) I see you spending hours poring over the same few lines of text until the translation is just so, losing none of its poetry nor narrative meaning. I am reminded of the twisting maze of essay fragments color-coded and taped to your bedroom wall. Are there any publishing companies operating out of Osaka?

Things continue as they have been here. I hate money, so I get a little confused about why I want it so much. The need for a job grows greater all the time, and the prospects just seem to get bleaker with each day that goes by without a response to the dozens of resumes I send out. I am also, I believe, developing a slowly simmering loathing for the television, in the way that one comes to loathe an inoperable brain aneurysm, simply because there is no escape.

Keep your chin up,


Stuck with an English degree...


Before I forget, I wanna say, Zayne is a stupid bitch (with Chinese accent and with lots of love). That cold lasted me a while too. I'm still not feeling at my best around my sinuses/ respitory functions. At least I'm not waking up in the middle of the night soakin' wet in my sweat.

So, I'm trying to figure out what I want to do... and because my father's connections are all business people, I'm researching companies and what departments might fit my personality. I am definitely not a sales person. Would you agree? I mean I don't see myself in sales... I think I'd be better at analyzing something... like consumer and marketing. As someone who knows me quite well, if you had to place me in a company... where would you place me?

... this is what I've been busy thinking- fun fun.

Damn right, fuck Tricia. She is not a fair teacher. Someone in the position of teaching at a university ought to reflect carefully on what messages she's sending out.

1722 is like the castle of At least you don't have to deal with shady roommate re:Cheryl. At least you know what's up with Ste's situation and there are room to work things out. Sorry about the PECO bill... I don't understand why anybody will just send a bill that big without warning. I guess it's a dirty world.

Man, I was just looking at the website for United Nations and remembered why I thought of majoring in Political Science my first year. First of all they require master's degree, and in their very narrow window for people with ONLY B.A. they require you have a degree in areas like finance, human rights, statistics, IT, political affairs etc. lol I'm bored. It's like everyone telling me B.A. in English is like no degree. I'll show them mother fuckers lol. I am Lucky Child :)

Ok, I had finished writing but the site failed me when I tried to post... at least I had most of it saved lol. So help me out on what you think I'd be good at... what do you think is my strenght?

Struggling to face professional barriers-


Monday, February 25, 2008

the damp lung


Apologies for the lack of posts this past week...I had a really intense one, kept meaning to post but didn't. But I'm so glad you did! Your post made me laugh instead of coughing, which is what I've been doing lately...

Tuesday I had a total meltdown re: finances. I had to front Stephen rent money this month owing to his lack of funds, and not having received a check from the airport yet. After I dropped off the check at the landlord's office, it just dawned on me that I had about $20 left in my account, and no prospects of making more. When I got home and found the PECO bill was almost $400 because they took me off budget billing after I didn't send in the check last month, I curled up in the fetal position in my green chair with Indestructo and punched some walls for a little while.

Sigh...and Ste was in a mood because he got rejected from Berkeley and we were not in great positions to be strong for each other. But now we're working on paying the bills, as he gets his checks and a fat refund from the government, and he's applying to Temple's Masters of Education program for the fall, and I think we're gonna pull through with a little patience and willpower.

I read a book called Earth Abides, a Robinson Crusoe-like novel about humanity being almost completely wiped out by a plague and how one of the survivors gets along. About 1/3 of the way through the book I started to feel like when the book ended, my life was also going to end... it was that kind of epic. It was pretty awesome.

About the time I finished it, I got sick again, I think it's the same cold we all got from Zayne, but it's back with a motherfucking vengeance. It went from sinus headaches and fatigue to the fucking damp lung or some shit where I wake up at night barely able to breathe. Woo-hoo*coughcoughcoughhack*!

I'm glad to hear yo've found some source of livelihood and the thought of puf puf in the snowy mountains is just too amazing...maybe someday when I visit, we get a bottle of that champagne and do those mountains up Philly style!

And speaking of Philly style I heard this morning that somewhere in the city some teenager threw a snowball at this guy and it hit him in the the guy went home to get a gun and shot the kid. Gotta feel that brotherly love!

So that's been my week, relatively uneventful, but as always, momentous...socially it's been a pain in the ass because everyone's back in school and school's in full swing, and you're not even gonna be here come warm weather to cut class and smoke on the roof with me! Puta.

Powering through in Philly,


PS - Yes, it's my queer theory article! (read: In your face, Tricia! B-fucking-plus, my ass. Suck on that!) And they're paying me $50. A pittance, maybe, but I'm getting paid to write and that's new. Livin the dream. Ignore those people who want you to know what you want. It's unreasonable, I say. PEACE!

PPS - Just read that that teenager who got shot over the snowball died.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Wishing up on a full moon


I miss your words. I've had quite a week myself so I want to update you before I forget it. I wish I could post pictures... but unfortunately I left the cord to transport pictures from my digital camera to my computer at 1722... Could you let me know if you or Stephen has seen it? I think it was still in one of the drawers in my room when I left.

So I went to the professor's, Garr Reynolds, presentation. I met many business executives, and some of his international students. They were from all over... like Thailand, Uganda, Switzerland. Afterwards we had all you can eat and drink at the Kobe Bay Sheraton Hotel's Sports Bar. It was so interesting because the crowd was much older than what I'm used to:) haha And everyone I met asked me what I wanted to do... where I am headed now that I've graduated lol. Pressures. It was like a 'collecting business cards' party lol. It's intimidating, but it's exciting to meet so many successful people.

I noticed that my answer to the question what I want to do was very vague since I really don't have a clue. But the Uganda student, Isha, kept pushing me like "But you must have something you're itching to do." In my mind I was like, "yeah... I just want money." From my mouth, I started talking about I'm interested in design etc... iiishk... He told me "It's all about selling yourself, making yourself look valuable even though you might just be smoking a blunt." And he was my favorite person of the night!! hahaha

Hopefully I will make more connections, as I meet more people. I have a meeting tomorrow with a career consultant I met at the event. Wish me luck...

Meanwhile, I had contacted my summer job since they have Saturday School program and got a job as a substitute right away! So Saturday I worked with little kids again, and was surprised to see so many familiar faces from summer school. I was sad that my close friends were in Tokyo, but I actually know many people here lol. I have so much catching up to do.

After the Saturday School I traveled to Kyoto to reunite with my friend Naomi. She's taking a year off from grad school and just got back from Tokyo for couple weeks to see her mom. We had a feast with some of her friends and her mom's friend. OMG, I had champaigne like I've never tasted before!! It's made in Kyoto and it was so rich and delicious. I thought of you... and wish that you could taste it someday. They don't sell it anywhere else.

It was snowing in Kyoto the whole weekend, so I was stuck there and had plenty of time to catch up with her. When I visited her in the summer, her dog was so sick it was so painful to see him... he was skin and bones. But when I saw him this time he's all better, and he had puppies!!! She told me that she prayed to a full moon one night to let him go if it is his time to go, or if there is something he still wants to do, to let him recover and live. Then when he got better, she had a phone call from her uncle that his dog is pregnant and the father is her dog, Akabe... lol! She suspects that he got sick coz he had sex w a young dog! Funniest thing I've ever heard!!!

So we went walking the dogs in the snow covered Kyoto mountain... it was so beautiful, and you know what would have been perfect there? I don't event have to say it:) puf puf

What's up with Philly and 1722?? Are you excited about being published?? Is it the Queer Theory paper?

Rise up good spirits-


Tuesday, February 19, 2008

piece of me...


U make me laugh everytime!!! I wish I was at the talk running around Penn's campus with you...

So I think Britney Spears' "Piece of Me" is fuckin hot... is that wrong? Her music video looks hot too... it just made me wanna start dancin dirty at a club. is that wrong? I just haven't been socializing much since I got back, I'm really confused that Spears is hot to me lol.

Your weekend sounds awesome! I am infinitely proud of you:) I haven't drank a sip of alcohol since Chicago airport. hahaha it was pretty funny on the flight to Chicago, I was a mess. I was fuckin out of my mind pissed that when I got to the luggage check-in, lady told me I was only allowed to check in 2 bags. I went thru security, I noticed I was missing my laptop, and flipped the fuck out. I was so sure that I had just left it at the counter or something. (I mean, I almost left my backpack there if it wasn't for Rachel.)

So, I was crying my (already) 'red' eyes out on the plane... thinking I lost my laptop (with naked pictures of myself n stuff) somewhere ... then I passed the fuck out. When I was conscious again, I was in Chicago. The first thing I did was tried calling Rachel's cell from a public phone, but the stupid thing just ate my 50 cents. Looked around and just sat my ass at a bar with a chick bar tender. I said, maybe she'll let me use her phone;) Had Jim Beam n Coke. She was nice, we talked about how she loves dancing and getting a massage. Didn't catch her name, but she's from Equador.

There was another guy at the bar, a Brittish business man, Sam. He had a laptop and a cell... he was really nice... but he was so nice I didn't know when to ask him if I could borrow his cell for a sec. lol I ordered a beer and just enjoyed the company. I said, screw my laptop, Jessye probably had it with her and forgot... lol And then my next 13 hour flight was hell. I was definitely spreading my germs all over the plane... thanks so Zayne ;)

I got a hair cut!! finally!!! I feel hairless, but it's not a hawk fo sho. Sorry man. If I tried hard, knowing my hair, I'm sure it'll stand up tho;) Big day tomorrow... I'm nervous. Gotta make lots of good impressions.

I'm sad coz I finally got rid of my cold and I have no one to play with. I finally got in touch with my friends here, and they're all in Tokyo lol. But my soulmate Naomi is gna be in town soon, so I'm psyched about that... oh actually I should call my coworkers at my summer job... if I wana risk sexual harrassment I


Sunday, February 17, 2008



I've waited until Sunday morning to post so that I would be able to tell you about everything that would happen over the weekend. It was a hectic one, but I pushed'd be proud of me, as a warrior, and the amount of things I got done and the amount of booze I drank!

After I posted on Friday, Kim and I attended the Angela Davis talk at Penn...more like we bumrushed the Angela Davis talk. They kept changing the event location because there were so many people trying to get in...well I don't know what they expected.

(I hope they don't accept me. I can't go back. I can't go back.)

We ended up there with Jake and Tess and bex and of all people Karl...with whom I was totally unimpressed. But it was funny to watch Tricia squirming with discomfort whenever their baby made a tiny peep at the talk! We had been standing in the front of the line, then everyone mysteriously moved to a side entrance and we ended up in the back of the line...then we got tipped off that the talk was moving to a nearby building. I said something dramatic like "Once we start moving, everyone is going to follow. We need to run."

So we did, and started a stampede, and ended up with good seats. They had to kick a lot of people out of the talk because the building manager was bitching about a fire hazard. The event organizer was asking people to leave and she said "Please ask yourselves, what would Angela do?"

And Jake just starts screaming "Not move! Not move! Sit-in! The revolution will not have fire marshalls!!!"

Kai was there with Topanga. I think I was probably in 6th grade the last time someone ignored my presence so completely! Afterwards we went to MadMex for the $6 huge margarita special and I downed like four of them. It was pretty spectacular.

Yesterday (Saturday) Kim and I had a long to-do list, and we got it all accomplished all the while getting progressively drunker. We started out at her friend Talia's party at 12th and Pine, then walked to South Street and joined my Aunt's pub crawl for a an hour and a half. I drank vodka tonics and once someone just handed me a margarita. It was glorious. It was like it appeared out of thin air.

Then we took a cab to 21st and Pine to Kim's friend Liz's house. (I met Liz when she and Kim had an unexpected reunion on the Atlanta subway. Several nights of drinking followed.) She had like a vat of guacamole, cheeses, freshly smoked salmon, and white wine that kept on flowing. She's living in this enormous house rent-free because her friends parents died and they needed a tenant at the house for insurance purposes. Crazy. Then some more people showed up with Jambalaya, fried plantains and some baked salmon that was DE-LI-CIOUS.

Oh, god. And then there was FUSE.

Me, Kim, and Zayne met Rachel there and Szophey followed close behind with Priscilla, who I'd never met before. The new venue is like a BILLION times better than Sal's. The music was predictably mediocre (how's that DJing coming?) but the crowd was really energetic and we danced our asses off. We ran into Corrinne and Mehmet and Kistine and also Meredith (remember, that baby dyke that Abby was dragging around once upon a time?).

That brings us to now. Half hung-over, half still-drunk, sore, apparently quite red in the face for some reason, and feeling like I made the absolute most of this goddamn weekend. I wish you'd been here, soldier, and there were several personal requests for your impossible presence.

To recap the night in a quote: "Oh FUCK this is so much fun!" ~Szophey

Oof. I did watch the tenth season, predictably with 24 hours after I purchased it. I'm re-watching it now to more fully absorb the events and then I'll render an opinion. You know how I'm resistant to change!

When you say you're getting a haircut, I imagine the great Keiko fauxhawk back in action, but that's probably not the plan, huh?


Friday, February 15, 2008

Far away from city lights, only mountains in my sight


The way you began your entry made me concerned... but your sentenses gave me laughter. You need to know that I feel pressured right now lol. I'm not as good of a writer as you are, and I'm not sure if I could live up to the comedian expectation of my land :( Well, I hope I get better at it.

I haven't left my parents house so much either. So far, just once I went shopping with my ma for formal clothing. I had 90,000yen left from summer...spent 40,000 on a pair of suits, extra pants, and a pair of dress shoes. I better get a great job!! Anyways, I don't feel so bad about staying's freakin' cold. Snow storm and everything. My plan is, I'm not going out until it's spring:) My schedule next week is go get my hair cut on the 19th, and I have a presentation to attend on the 20th. (The professor I told you about.) I'm enjoying my loose schedule, catching up on the Japanese pop culture. My parents asked, "Have you not been watching TV at all in Philly or something?" ..."That's right. There was 'Friends' and then 'Friends' and then 'Friends.'"

I saw one episode of 'Friends' since I've been back. "The one where Ross is fine." I assume you've finished the final season? How did you like it??

BTW, the boss has finally made a good call:) I don't know why she waited until now... but fridays are never meant for work in my opinion.

I miss our experiment days. Three worriors, just pushing thru for the sake of finding out what's beyond the cloud. I hope you found something valuable. I can't even express in words, you know I was enlightened.

So I have a story you might appreciate. Some famous person was apologizing for their son's possession of Marijuana. A gram of Marijuana. I say, that's stupid. Then my ma started telling me about her friend's husband who bought seeds and planted them in the mountains somewhere. He had bought the seeds online. Addicted to internet and growing weed. He would have fights with his daughter, 24years old, over the computer and would not step back. Finally the 24 year old who works as a companion flipped out and went to the police. When the police came to investigate, he could've just told them he had a small plant back yard but he was so paranoid he told them everything about the ones in the mountain... in the end he lost his job, his house, and now he's in jail. His wife told my ma that out of all the years she's been married to him this is the incident that made her realize the most how stupid her housband is. I went to elementary school with the 24 year old... chicks, man, they craaazy. Anyways I thought that was a funny story... what do you think?


the city lights are bright enough to blind me.


I haven't left my room in days. (weeks?)


Or else I left it last night but cannot remember why. It is hard to remember the significance of the outside.

It was bitterly cold here. (But now I have my windows open. To help the osmosis of the right and wrong smokes from my room.) One morning it was even snowing a little. Things like this make it harder to remember how to wake up.

Finally the boss switched my day to Monday, I guess calling out 2 weeks out of 3 was finally enough of a hint. So that's why I'm posting today.

I'm a little sick of the here and now right now. I feel a little stuck in space and time. Or, it has begun to feel more like a trap than an inevitability. I spend a lot of time thinking about being elsewhere, and then a lot of time scorning myself for thinking I am not strong enough to be elsewhere. (And I don't know how to tell the weakest Valkyrie that since I cannot see her all the time I would rather never again.)

So Philly is the same without you, only bleaker, colder and more mechanical. Without any sense of chaos, a serenely functioning capitalist automaton where we have no future but to work until we die and to steal from our neighbors until we get ahead. Where childhood visions of fat bank accounts come with diamond chains. (Beautiful/unbreakable.) A twisted staircase towards fascism.

Or it could be that's just what's happening in my head. Looking forward to hearing from you and the town of comedians,