Monday, March 31, 2008

I've expereinced 'eyes turned black and hair on fire'


That really sux about ur PW boss. Did u talk to her when u went in? I'm happy for u that u don't have to deal w the lack of acknowledgement there anymore.

Man! Kim's birthday sounds awesome!! I woulda loved to act in Midsummer Night's Dream!! I'm missin' out so much!!! Although, u guys are so missin' out on the cherry blossoms. I told u about our culture of "hanami"(translates: flower watching) re:sitting under cherry blossoms and drinking/bbqing.

So updating u on my job front... I went in for an interview on friday. First of all the interviewer was out of her mind stuck up. Second of all her questions were useless. Third of all I just zoned out coz I could not be less enthused about working in an environment w someone like her. I knew right away that as prestigious as it may be to be able to say I work for them, it's not worth coming in everyday if I don't like the environment. She asked me, "At our company we provide top class service. That means you will have to look very nice everyday and always have a smile on your face. How do you feel about dressing nicely everyday and putting make up on?" ... ummm I'm wearing a skirt suit and I'm wearing fuckin make up on my face what do u think? it's work... how dumb do i look? Also she asked, "If you are appointed as office assistant, you will have to make sure all the meeting rooms are dust-free clean. How do you feel about that? Do you think you can do it?" Then my eyes turned black and my hair caught on fire... lol. I looked at her in disbelief thinking, lady u said u need someone with English skills...if u need someone to just clean and look pretty go fuck urself. I looked straight at her and said, "I will do my job professionally whatever it is." The funniest thing is she and this other lady interviewed me in Japanese only.

So I left their office in the hilton building to have lunch w my dad. I decided that the insurance company would be a better match for me. I had a work lunch with the sports department people on saturday, and they all told me insurance company will wear me out. I think working at any company will wear me out... the important thing for me right now is having bosses that I can be at ease with professionally. It's not gna last if I just choose a job for its prestige n hate the actual workin environment. So this week I'm going in to discuss my work position in greater detail. They said last week that they were lookin for a part timer and a full timer, but I figured it'll be a great opportunity for me even if I start as a part timer coz once I have a year of working experience, I can say I've worked for an insurance company:) at my next interview for other jobs lol.

I also went Hanami on saturday after the lunch. There were maybe 3 buds blossoming lol! But there were like 20 people bbqing and drinking, so much fun!! It was in Rokko Island, which is a man-maid island in Kobe and for some reason a lot of foreigners live on the island. Probably because there's a huge american school there called Canadian Academy:) lol. They were our rival. Next weekend will probably be the best for cherry blossom watching.

Damn! Zayne's already about to leave? So ur gna keep the house if u get another roommate to sign the lease?? that's awesome, i hope u guys will keep the house so i can visit:) i really love 1722. I've moved around in philly but that was my favorite place.

So I'm reading Stranger now. When I went to pick it up from the store, I was like Eh???! coz i'ts like 700pages long. they got me the uncut version...may take me months to finish lol.

I hope Z or S is home by now to ease u out of existential breakdown.

"All things fall and are built again
And those that build them again are gay."



Ongoing lack of acknowledgement at once unsetting and a relief. Waiting to get home to have intense existential breakdown. More later,


pet peeves and slate-grey skies


It's a bleak-ass morning here, but i guess Monday mornings usually are? I feel like shit on a shingle. My throat is tired of smoking cigarettes, I'm sick of the smell. In less than an hour I have to head out to work at the PW for the last time...not this past Thursday, but the Thursday before (that would be more than 10 days ago now) I emailed my boss to tell her I couldn't make it in on Monday because I had a job interview. I know I'm not supposed to call out Mondays, but I think 4 days notice and the excuse that I fucking need to pay rent next month should be enough, but whatever. Then I let her know that I could no longer afford to do free labor, and that I needed to devote my time to finding paid work. I said that if there was a position open at the PW I'd love to be considered, but that I just couldn't afford to continue the internship (anyway, my 3 months was up back at the end of freakin' November). Anyway, the reason I'm irritated is that she never bothered to email me back. Not to scold, or interrogate, offer condolences or even acknowledge that she'd received the email. Whatever.

So perhaps you can imagine my lack of enthusiasm about showing up today. But show up I must, sadly. I may not have been the most involved or reliable intern, but I've done hours and hours of work for nothing, and you'd think that would be deserving of a return email.

Anyway. Yesterday Jessye and I went shopping for props for Kim's birthday party - it's weird that you don't already know about because it's what everybody's been talking about for a week now! In a couple of weeks, for Kim's birthday we are going to stage a complete performance of A Midsummer Night's Dream!!! I'm super hype. People will be ridiculously clad (Ste in high drag as Titania, me as Oberon so we can work out some of our bitter old married couple issues on the stage), making fools of themselves and getting drunker by the act. It sounds like so much fun. So J and I retrieved some fake flowers to scatter about the yard, and glitter for both the set and the actors.

So that's what I'm looking forward to as I try not to despair about lack of funds and the possibility that I may have to work this week. I guess I should be excited to be done with PW, but no one will be home when I get home and I imagine myself feeling more bitter than relieved. But that could just be because that's how I feel now.

In other news, a new roommate search is in the works posthaste. Zayne will be out of here in 6 still seems like we barely got finished unpacking and we're doing a roommate search again. And all will still be up in the air until we find someone suitable who's also willing to sign a lease for 08-09. There's always so much to do, and everyday is one more spent waiting to here about financial aid for grad school...if I don't get any, I feel like a nervous breakdown will be completely called for. So I'm just hoping that when I hear back from Temple I can move towards at least having some vision of the future that includes some semblance of financial stability. Or stability at all. Things have gone to shambles really fuckin fast here at the end of my year off.

The only thing to do is wait and see.


Wednesday, March 26, 2008

March 25, Tuesday


When I first read your title I was like, "Oh oh! Did A just take some shroomz? Hope she had a good trip." Lol. I know how you must feel about money situation... remember I was stressed out about that too? It's wonderful that you have friends, and it's not like you're gna mooch off of them forever. You'll get a chance to give back. I think that's the best source of motivation. You're not only working your ass off for yourself, but also to give back to the people who helped you. It's a great feeling, appreciation. It'll get you through the tough times re:slow computers n Jackal. hahaha. I remember you bought me drinks when I really had no money, and you've always helped me out so much! The day that I will be able to give back to you is not far:) Good friends are my treasure, whose memories are the only thing I wish to take with me eternally beyond this life.

So Tuesday was a real happening day for me man! After I finished posting and got ready to head out the door, I received a phone call from my Saturday School Boss. Remember the Summer program I worked for? The same boss, he's the coordinator of sports department. It is now official that I'll be working for the sports department again starting April(new school year)!!! Which means that if I get a full time job (Mon-Fri), I'll be working 6days a week but Sat. School is more like a hobby! I have fun with kids, and get to play sports, and get paid! Sweet:)

When I got to the insurance company, they put me in their nice meeting room. The Canadian guy and the Japanese lady sat across from me, and in my head, "Is this going to be an interview?" Anyways I had my resume so they took a look at it, and started asking me questions. It was very casual tho. So we talked for like 2 hours about what kind of work they do, and what kind of work I've done. They especially liked what I had to say about working at Paley Library! lol. Crazy demanding patrons of Paley Library re:professors with stick up their asses. They said they get crazy phone calls from upset customers who don't know what their insurance covers and what not. I think I can handle that. Then they asked me if I applied for other companies, and I told them I had just applied for one recently. I was waiting to hear back from them. They said they would like to have me on board, but also said there is no hard feeling if I chose to go to the other company. So I left saying I would inform them after I finish the interview with the other company.

This other company is an Australian company that provides top class business offices & service. I've been there once when I went to see a career consultant I met at the first business event I attended. His company is based in Tokyo so they rent an office from this Aus. company to expand their business in Osaka. (I hope I'm painting a good picture for you of what it is.)

Anyways, when I left the insurance company I had a voicemail from the Aus. company saying they'd like to schedule a date for an interview. I was so excited just coming out of a 2 hour interview! So I have another one tomorrow!! The lady on the phone said to bring writing utensils so I assume there's going to be some kinda test as well. So hopefully I'll know which company I will be working for in the next couple of weeks. April is the beginning of new school/work year so it's exciting. I didn't imagine I'd be fortunate enough to start work this year with no experience in the 'real world'. I'm just keeping up with a mindset of keep looking for opportunities and keep trying.

Perhaps this blog is my lucky charm!! I think it would have been boring for me to just do it on my own. This is so much more interesting blogging with you!!! Like I said to my friend's big sister when she said she wants to research about sexuality, "That's so awesome! We should write a book together!! We can collaborate. Life is collaboration!!" Thank you Bito for coming up with this genius idea (and remembering that I said I wanted to blog:)!!!!!!!

Let me know about your mission re:job hunt. Don't be tense about working... you never know if you like it or not until you've tried (just like the cuisines you've tried in the past year). Don't think you always look surly... remember you can be whatever you make yourself to be. I know that first hand! In my case, it went in the negative direction in Philly. Being in a foreign soil, I thought everyone was out to deceive me or hurt me... so I had to keep my guards up (which made me extrememly sensitive to every little damn shit), but that's extremely exhausting and I fell apart. You can be confident that you're a friendly out going person (have many great people around you), and you're smart so you're able to do anything you set your mind to.

Gta take whatever life has to offer you!!

Always taking it to the next level,


my eyes turned black and my hair caught fire


This past week has been hell on me. I've been interviewing, so I've been on edge about that, freaked about the fact that I might be working soon, and tense with the stress of having no money. I mean, you remember when we used to say we had no money but we used to go out drinking and get variable anyway? Cuz no, this is literally money. Which is not to complain, since my friends have been more than taking care of me (shout outs to Stephen, Zayne, Jessye and Kim). But still, it's not fun having no sucks even being in a position where your friends might normally buy you drinks anyway but this time you know you can't buy them drinks any time soon.

So today I had one good the morning I got up at 7 (cruel and unusually early if you ask me), had a cup of coffee and a cig and got dressed to walk my ass up to 18th and JFK by 9. It took about an hour to take their computer literacy tests and do the interview. The woman was really nice; she asked me what skills I'd like to improve on, and I said that I'd like to be more outgoing, because it's easy for me to help people in a customer service situation, but maybe I won't approach people often enough...and then she was like "Really? You seem very friendly and at ease," and I said "Well, I guess I have a little social anxiety is all," and she was like "yeah, but don't we all? I do."

So between calling me friendly (as opposed to SURLY) and telling me that it was no big deal to be socially anxious, she has endeared herself to me somewhat. She also made note of my special interests in writing, editing, and research and said that she would hold onto them in case some kind of quirky job came up that I might like.

So I left that one feeling refreshed and good about myself. I had been planning to just hang around downtown until my typing test at 16th and Market at 1, but it was only just after 10 and I was hungry so I walked home and made myself some pasta and watched FRIENDS. Then I got re-dressed up and walked all the way back up for the typing test. Now, let me give you some perspective before I tell you what happened next. On Monday I went into the Staffing Services for an interview I had scheduled with them more than a week before. I got there and filled out an application for about an half an hour; then I sit down with this woman - we shall call her Jackal - and she asks me 3 questions, then tells me I need to take a typing test. But, she explains, both computers are in use and it might be an hour before one becomes available. Would I like to wait, or schedule an appointment to take the test and complete the interview later in the week?

Thus I found myself at 16th and Market for my 1 o'clock appointment today. So I get there and both the computers are occupied. I wait for 30 minutes to get a computer, even though I scheduled a time 2 days ago to take this test. At 1:30, I sit down in front of a computer, and the tests they give are Flash-driven and their computers are these giant old wheezing PCs that might crumble to dust at any moment (even though they have really fancy new monitors and keyboards). In other words, I could read Kubla Kahn in the time it takes these fucking pages to load. So I sit staring at the screen for an hour, only occasionally answering questions or typing up a passage. At 2:30, I stand up from my computer and turn around to see that there is suddenly only one person in the office instead of six, and she is not the Jackal. She tells me that the Jackal has gone to lunch. She'll probably be gone for the whole hour. I should probably just call her for the scores.

And then my eyes turned black and my hair caught fire and I said "You know what lady? I WILL be calling Jackal. IN HELL!!!!!!"

And then I smiled politely and said "Sure, I'll do that. Thanks a lot."


PS - Apologies for the know...and also after walking back and forth through the city in Stephen's loafers the balls of my feet feel like someone forced me to dance tiptoe on a bed of nails. Is all.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Ignorance is bliss?


Gored gored sounds... well just like it sounds:) the only raw meat I ever had was horse meat and that was delicious. So I believe you about it being tasty haha.

So I called my friend's big sister up, coz she's been on my mind for some reason, n met up with her. She's so fuckin awesome!!! I was telling her about how I'm meeting lesbians online, and found out about this event they have every month called Ladykiller. N she was like, "E? Do you have to be a lesbian to get in??" No, it's just like girl party but really no males allowed even if ur gay. They have pole dancers, and performers, and different djs for every hour. And then she said, "OH!! That sounds interesting! I wanna go." lol so, you might be hearing about a Japanese girl party soon;) hehe

I've been making a few lesbian contacts via the internet. They get together to have parties every now and then, and they welcome new comers who come alone lol. It's more than I expected!!! I've never met someone who I met online in person, except for the Temple Law student lol, so I don't know how to feel about it. It just sounds like lots of lesbians gettin together to have fun so that's cool:)

I also met a couple of friends from high school yesterday. It was like laughing none stop!! and then on my way home, I notice I had like 12 unread text from R... I had just told her that morning that I had fucked someone else while we were together because she asked. I never meant to use the truth to hurt anyone. She sounded really pissed like "why would you do that to me? what did i do to you? u ruin me. u make me wanna die. ur a liar. deceitful, destructive, immature, and have insecurities that will never go away." WOw those are strong words. Ok, that's ok. She can say whatever and it's no going to change anything...just made me feel bad a little but I could only say "ok." Then she wanted to know who. But I don't think it's relevant anymore. Whatever happened is between me and them... why should I out them? Plus we are not together anymore, and I really don't feel the need. It was just really ugly with her calling me names n being pure mean. I just said "leave me alone and be happy w ur new woman."

After I said bye to my friends, started reading all the texts. It was like, "tell me who. i tell u who i fucked." "it's gna hurt u. can u handle?" and she started naming guys that she fucked and a lil details too. And Bito, that was the happiest I have ever felt since I've been with her. You have no idea! The feeling of, I was right lifted me and I felt so light. I was sad that she really wanted to hurt me by telling me the things she's been hiding from me. It's unfortunate that you actually try to hurt someone's feeling like that... I was really unimpressed. But I was so thankful. And all this time I've felt pain... everything just vanished. The vision is, clouds parting and it's a clear blue sky!!! She said, "You see not knowing somethings makes us happier. ignorance is bliss or sloth?" I totally disagreed. Yes I thought ignorance was bliss... but I have made a huge discovery about myself:) So I just wanted to share w u this valuable experience I had yesterday.

I apologize for all the troubles I have caused you, and you were always there for me. Hey man, gta have love for people... we are so not perfect.

On that note, gotta get ready. I'm gna visit the insurance people at their office remember?

Sending lots of love and smile:)


Saturday, March 22, 2008

gored gored


The title is the name of the meal I had last night at Abyssinia. (You remember the Ethiopian restaurant in West Philly? I know you were in there once...) It was basically a pile of little chunks of raw beef in this super-spicy sauce. Now, many in my immediate circle questioned my choice of consuming said uncooked meat - Kim refused the Ethiopian tradition of sharing a plate, and when I told Stephen about my leftovers he gave me a horrified look. I dismissed them all as unadventurous. In fact, the gored gored was quite delicious, and spicy enough to satisfy my taste buds (which have been immunized by scorching pho). But, you know, it also turned out to be a little hard to digest. I have decided to consider this a failing on the part of my digestive tract, and not of the idea of eating spicy raw beef. Still, I will be pan-frying the beef before I eat the leftovers this morning. Although I think that's really just good sense considering I know exactly zilch about the preservation of already prepared raw meat.


Wednesday, March 19, 2008

feeling, timing, and happening


Before I forget, I loved your article!! And I have ordered Stranger in a Strange Land, in Japanese translation. I wonder why they didn't have it at the store, it is a small bookstore in Takarazuka. There's a huge one in Osaka, but it's so freakin huge I always get lost when I go in there lol! Like I can't find my way out coz there are so many isles and people.

Ahahaha, yeah Eriko is the girl I had a thing for once upon a time... you know there's 1) feeling-you feel a spark or whatever, and 2) timing- there's such thing as a good timing to like someone, then there's 3) happening- some kinda event that inevitably brings two people closer. This was all out of order and it was all working against me whenever I was tryna... y'kno... with her. And she was this confused young soul... imagine her all grown up now...of course she's fuckin attractive!!! Whoever ends up w her is one lucky biatch lol! She's got this beautiful glow that makes you happy just being around her. I'm grateful we're still close coz it's just so comforting, and I enjoy watching her grow into a beautiful individual. (I know its corny... but I hope I don't sound like some creep... oh well!!) And now that she's going to school in Tokyo, I have a gay contact there to show me the night life!!

Great news about CC of A!!! Congrats!!!! even if you choose not to go, it's fuckin awesome that you have options isn't it?! Be proud and celebrate!!! it's an accomplishment:) We are so privileged to have options, and are given the chance to choose our paths. That's why we can never stop trying. I mean even if we have to send out 500 resumes... it's for living our lives the way we want to.

If you do move out to the Bay, I will definitely visit!!!! You do owe me a road-fuckin-trip!!! Once I have an income, I'm gna send myself to driving school. That's in my list of things I want to do.

London sounds like a great place to be. I hear you about feeling at home, "but with so much to explore." That's exactly how I feel right now. I loved Philly and I did feel at home and I miss it... but to be honest there's not much to explore... in my opinion. I guess if you had money, you could go to NY or AC every weekend etc.... There's just so many little things to do, and see here. I don't know... maybe it was the college life... Nevertheless! I love Philly!!! Good fuckin times!!!

Good luck on your interviews!!! I'm sure you'll do fine:) It's all about feelin it!!! hahaha


Tuesday, March 18, 2008

this will be my shorty


Hey duuude! I am jus a bit drizzunk because it is the night before my interview and I was all tense and then Ste was like "Well let's go get some liquor," and you know I did not turn him down. So we've had a bit of wine, because you know what happened last time I drank actual liquor before an interview (I'm thinking pics of me w/ couch and green bucket!) Anywayzorz...

Reading your post I was like "Aah! I miss Keiko!" esp. because of the line when you were like "people man, gotta love 'em..." Haha, that is SO K!... I'm so glad you found a queer ally in the fatherland! Also, isn't Eriko that chick you were tryin to...y'know...way back when?? Haha!!

In recent news...I got an acceptance letter from the California College of the Arts! You know chances of me going there are small assuming Temple offers me equal amounts of $$, but if by some chance I grow balls and move to the Bay you know you better visit me there motherfucker!!! Even if not, I feel we should arrange a Cali meeting sometime in the not-too-distant future...maybe next summer if I'm set with a fellowship n shit n you got a job I could road fuckin trip out there, pick you up and we could ride back to Philly together!! (Of course we would hit up Emilia on the way! And Rich if he's still in the SC.)

Anyways, I better hit the hay if I wanna be rested for this interview...I'm hoping all goes well, but I got another one on Thursday and hopefully I'll hear something back from those other agencies or from the dozen resumes I sent out to Penn in the next week or so...

re: expat bizz, honestly the place I could see myself living is in London...that could be because it's one of the only other places I've been, but also I just love the city, almost as much as Philly...when I was there it felt much like home, but with so much to explore, you know? But anyway, all this is so far in the future...

Updates as they come...meantime, good to hear from you dude, keep the news comin',


Finding what makes you happy is life's challenge


Bahhhahaha!!! MTV shows are awesome for ridiculousness. That guy had to fall, otherwise his speech woulda been a waste of viewer's time and would have been cut. Maybe I should apply for MTV? lol jk.

Ahh the sirens. I actually miss the harmonious sirens of all sorts, with helicopter beats, and random shouting. I am so far away from all of that. And who woulda thought the cops were after Justin Murray who we never met or heard about... I wonder what he did. Just more drama for 1722 ey?

And what did I tell you about taking a fall... you always gta do it gracefully as you did near your brother's pad!!! hahaha I thought you were the master of all 'tuck and rolls' (to borrow your word).

Good to hear that you're keeping yourself busy! Bleeding for science, and whatever it is. I'm receiving news that US is going thru some tough times... yo dollar hit 95yen yesterday thats like whata fuck? it was 110yen n up when I was there... its never good when it takes a dive so quickly. It effects Japan too as we are a huge exporting country. So I'm sure many places aren't about hiring... but you just gta keep your antennas up. Hey, you may think you're just grabbing a drink at a bar and meet someone with chances of hiring you... possibilities are endless.

Yesterday, I went to another one of business executives' events that my father and team organizes. This time it was a President&CEO of a Japanese insurance company speaking about how he made changes and improved the company during the time where there were too many supplies vs demands and all the insurance companies were merging. This one stayed on its own, and made amazing improvements. Ok, I won't bore you more with the details. It was cool, and he's a Drexel graduate. He also taught there and at UPenn. blah~ hahaha, but he is an interesting guy.

Afterwards, I wasn't really planning on going to the all you can eat&drink. But I did... hahaha. It's always awkward for me at first, coz I'm just busy eating and observing people exchanging business cards and talking about their business etc. But it always gets extremely interesting at the end as more alcohol's consumed, and people are talking more casually. I was talking to this hotel owner, he was asking me about Shakespeare, n talked about religion etc. really cool guy. And then I met many presidents in a roll... and they were all real nice people. And then at the very end, I met couple of young guys who were shocked to find out I was my father's daughter... then some people from the British insurance company, a Canadian guy who was shouting "My wife is away, my son's asleep and my mother-in-law is home. I really wanna go home!" and a Japanese lady who I had the longest conversation with. The Canadian guy tried to give me more wine, and the lady says to him "She's a good girl." And the guy goes, "Oh no, I smell trouble when I see you smile like that!" I don't know what was goin on, but I was like, these adults are D-R-U-N-K. Anyways I got an invitation to visit their office sometime next week, so that should be interesting. They said they're extremely busy and could use a hand or two:) I'm not expecting anything coz I'm sure they were intoxicated, nevertheless I got the feeling that they were awesome people and just real fun! Meeting people with couple of drinks is the best thing:)

I met up with my friend Eriko, who used to live in Vancouver, on Monday. First lesbian contact since I've been back!! hahaha. She was telling me how she's out to her family now, and is sure she's not interested in guys. She was like, "Even if Brad Pitt was right in front of me, I'm confident that I won't feel anything." It's been 5 years since I met her when she was bi she's 20yrs old and is so 100% It was so comforting talking to her, with all the histories between us. She used to tell me I was the only one who she could really tell everything to... now in her second year in college, she knows all the gay spots & events in Tokyo :) hahaha! I really have to pay a visit to Tokyo!! She is so funny, we were just walking and talking so I was like "Where we going?", and she goes "I thought I was following you, but I guess I'm a step ahead huh?" and this is every time we meet up! It's like our routine, and its so comforting in a weird way... people man, gotta love em.

I really love being back and reconnecting with friends, and making new connections slowly but surely. Haven't landed on a job just yet, but I'm feelin it dog! (to borrow Randy Jackson's phrase, just saw some american idol episodes). Good luck to you too bro!!! I believe you'll find something. (You should apply for paley circulation once you start school too! it's easy money)

Where would you go if you become an expat? If you're serious I think its fuckin awesome. But keep in mind its not gna be easy just coz u expat urself. Its the whole mindset... with the right mindset I believe you can be extremely content with whatever and wherever you are.

Big hugs,


ps: have u seen the movie, 300? i suggest u see it if u havent yet:)

Monday, March 17, 2008

blame mtv


Yesterday Jessye and I smoked and watched The Gauntlet III for like 4 hours...Nothing like watching people a) publicly humiliate themselves by performing ridiculous physical challenges for my viewing pleasure and b) publicly humiliate themselves in their down time by getting real drunk and shouting at each other for my viewing pleasure. I was remembering the time you and me and Imani were watching it from Rachel's living room and there was that skinny white dude who was like "I haven't been carrying my weight in these challenges, so today is my big day to prove myself. I'm gonna get out there and kick some ass." And then, you stated with certainty, "He's going to fall." Which he did. Good times.

The cops descending upon my hungover ass has been quite the conversational highlight of the week; at least I've had some time to recover from the emotional trauma, but we're still stashing the Jesus away from home and every time I hear sirens (which is, you know, often) I try to judge if they're getting closer or going somewhere else. And aside from all that shizz, I didn't really mention a lot of the rollicking fun we had over Sprng Break - it was hella nice out for the past week, warm and sunny. Thursday Alex and I took a drive up to Mt. Airy to pick Kim up from her internship, then chilled out at the rock garden and ate bananas...that night Gaja and Sofie came over...Friday, me and Ste and Alex walked up to the library and then hit up Sofie again and I got ripped drinking about a half of the bottle of vodkey that Sof brought and we had loud conersations about capitalism and how it's the devil...also on the walk home I pulled another tuck and roll and fucked up my ankle...

Today I fact check, tomorrow I bleed for science and Wednesday I have a job interview with a temp agency and my mom's birthday dinner. And on a painfully funny note, I jus got finished checking an article about this 43-year-old army vet with 20 years of accounting experience who's only been able to get crappy temp jobs for the past 6 years. His longest period of continuous work was for Penn, where he worked for a year and a half and applied for 44 other positions within the University with no luck before his job got terminated. Over 3 years he sent out 478 resumes and got a total of 3 job interviews. The article goes on to relay the news that its now almost certain we're in a recession and that corporations across the country have issued "hiring freezes."

Between the good news on the job front, and the drunken discussions of our downward spiral into facism, I'm thinking of becoming an expat. What do you think?


Saturday, March 15, 2008

early morning drama


Hectic morning here. Do you remember how we sometimes get mail for Justin Murray? Well, this morning about 10 minutes after I woke up the cops were at our door asking if he lived here. Apparently there's a warrant out for his arrest and this is his last known address. They asked to come in and I said no, so they informed me that if they got a warrant for probable cause they could knock down the door at 3 in the morning. I was like "Okay" - it's not my door, anyway.

So I've been chain smoking here for a minute and trying to chill.

Have an interview with a temp agency on Wednesday and have to send out my resume to a bunch more temp agencies; we'll see what happens. I need a job.

I'll keep you posted as the drama unfolds here at 1722...


Wednesday, March 12, 2008

I got the best dope


That doesn't sound like you man!! Even if your day to day aren't eventful, I'm sure there are lots of entertaining juices in ur head! Once you think you're bored, it's the end... gots to pick yourself up and do something. Maybe you should consider detox... ? (jk)

Yo don't hate me, but I'm not the slightest bit jealous about the ounce... I actually don't miss mota. I miss the good times, chillaxin' with good people. But without the people, the shit is nothing memorable... you get me?

What's new with me? I've started Boot Camp exercise... haha! I felt like my arms were getting softer, and I wasn't even gaining weight coz I didn't have much of an appetite. So just for fun, I started the Boot Camp training and holly shit, my appetite is like whoa! Most of all, my thighs are like back in the day when I played soccer softball and basketball... So I'm thinking of switching to yoga... lol coz I don't need huge muscles like they won't fit in my new suits that I bought when I was real puny re:skiniest I've ever been in my life. Naomi said I look tired and sick...

I had this fear of aging... its so weird. I've always felt like I was still a teenager physically, but feeling my arms and thighs was a wake up call. So I'm wakin' my muscles up, and it's wonderful coz I feel fucking amazing! Like mind and body. Adrenaline is the best dope fo sho.

There's nothing big goin' on right now, but it's the little details I appreciate. And I have so much to tell you!! But I also have so much to get done...
Hey, does your skype work?? I have skype so we should arrange a time to chat for free!!! OK? it's easy.

Oh! Naomi was reading this book written by her prof, and I was just looking at it and the shit was so interesting. And it's not translated into English!!! So Naomi's going to talk to him, and I might be able to work on it!!! First I gta gather some money to go to Tokyo and actually meet him. He sounds like an awesome prof. Naomi is like my angel, it is so weird. Whenever we are together, good news keep coming. Yo it's like I was right the first time I ever saw her, I still remember vividly, our eyes met from across the hall and I knew I had to talk to her.

I can't explain well, but I feel like my instincts are sharper now that I dont smoke or drink much... and I'm so happy I'm off the antidepressant!!!

I gta jet... but don't get lazy on me bro!!!


selling my body to science


Sorry about the lack of postings...I guess the more boring my life gets the less I post...

There was an inordinate amount of Zelda playing happening, but I think I'm bored with that now. Mostly, Ive been stressing out over not having a job. That was why Kim helped me sign up to bleed for science.

So I'm participating in this taste-sensitivity study and they pay me $40 for every 2-hour session (there are 6) and $40 for completing the study. Hey, that might even be enough to pay my utilities this month! So yesterday I sat in a blank room for 2 hours and sipped and spat clear solutions and rinsed and spat distilled water. At the end the study had succeeded in convincing me that not only was I incapable of tasting anything, but that was a good thing, as if I ever tasted anything again I would kill myself.

So, in the spirit of the update, there are a couple of things happening Stateside that will make you jealous, and the sort of go hand in hand...first of all, the other day Zayne fell into an ounce. It now resides in our casa. Second, Govinda's now does delivery. haha mofo. sucks to be you!

But, you know, also sucks to be me. A combination of a crippling fear of working and a crippling fear of not having any money paralyze me most days. Hence the dearth of interesting postage. The most interesting thing that happened to me recently was me and Ste driving to the NE to go to Las Margaritas. My life has been pretty unspeakably dull. And you're not even here to stir up trouble.

Holding down the fort here. I promise to immediately relay any news worth hearing. Que pasa on the other side of the world?


PS - In case you missed the comment Ste posted, here is the full stoner poem in the text of the blog:

surrounded by smoke cloudy
chatter and silence
pensive journalism
in the moment
crisp boxes of sticks
awaiting their destiny
cough blink laugh
alive –
a rush of thoughts
enigmatic maze
apathy for the outside world
the cool soma den
with the view of the city
in a paradise

Monday, March 3, 2008


Do try to get Ste's poem and post it!! lol

Apparently 8 years is long enought to surprise someone


Apologies for my absence re:blogging, also:a trip with you and variable. I've been in my head quite some time. Also, I tend to sneak and post while my rents aren't around. Computer is located right in the corner of our dining/kitchen area lol! I avoid engaging in personal matters when my mom is lurking around... hahaha!!

It's a shame no one had a time to spare, to be out with variable on a nice day. And mostly, to be with you! It is true many people are not like you and I. Re:supernatural ability to BS and get good grades. Last minute work pressure is the kind of challenge I do welcome...

I have also consulted with being prepared, in the case of getting paid! lol Job searching is going well... I applied for a man-to-man english instructor position with GABA. Check it out at for anyone who may be interested in a teaching job here. I have an interview in 2weeks. I know that looks are very important in teaching english caucasian. Can't fix that in 2 weeks lol but whata heck! I'll give it a shot, maybe I can pass lol! The organization doesn't seem to discriminate, but I know that the students's the 'if you learn from a white person, you'll be just like one of them' mentality. If I'm lucky there may be students who actually want to learn, and I have lots to offer from my experiences in learning English as a second language:)

Music, I miss my playlist... I miss my laptop... I haven't invested in music yet. Money is not my favorite thing either, but it is always spent. It is only a matter of figuring out how to direct the flow into your pocket ;) You gotta keep your blood circulating to live, and you gotta have a circulation of money around you to win against capitalism. I've invested a lot of money and time to get where I'm at; it's my time to win them back. That's what drives me everyday. Because I have a vision for myself. Not to become one of them re:greedy people, but to create something. I maybe too much of a 'king of wishful thinking' as I'm just fresh out of college, I believe I have the ability to make it happen.

Thanks to your advice re:keep your chin up. Translating the written word is a job I admire. I have been researching about it too. There are exams for such thing as a translating license... makes me want to laugh!

You know, I feel like a new born baby coming out of college. Perhaps I'm starting to believe that we relearn and recall what we inherently know/possess after birth... lol!

Back to the translating job, I don't know how well I convey my messages in English but it will be challenging for me to do that in Japanese as well. I think it'll be a good training process to perfect both languages. I had my mind in searching companies, so I'm so glad and thankful that you brought it up!!

Enough about jobs and serious matters...

Last week I visited my highschool. Naomi and I met up at the train station, had beer with lunch, and walked the completely altered street. There used to be dirt and mud and forests where we used to hike up for you know what. Our first stop: nurse's office. Because we used to spend a lot of time there chatting with the nurse about everything haha. We used to eat lunch there... go there after our trip to the forest... the nurse always had the nose to tell what we were doing lol. We sat there chatting with her about her pregnancy (in her 5th month) and looking through old yearbooks, while sick students came in and out lol. Then at 3:30 when classes got out, we went to the Japanese department to see my homeroom teacher, Ms.Mishima. She was surprised that I came in with Naomi, she thought Naomi was a year younger than me because she came in 11th grade and never had her class. Also because Naomi and I always hung out at the nurse's or the forest... I guess teachers knew me as one of the jock girls, except for the nurse. She kept calling her Akemi for some reason, and I kept saying "Naomi is...." lol.

Last stop: English department. There was a special reason why I went there. I don't know if I ever told you about my 8th grade English teacher, Ms.Brown? I entered that school in 8th grade and she was my first English teacher there, and she was strict. I hated her the first semester, for the amount of homework and her Brittish English, but my English improved unbelievably. I guess you could say she's my root for studying English. There's another thing about Ms.Brown... she dressed androgenous and was living with the Australian art teacher. I think I was highly curious at that age, and had my own theory that she's a lesbian lol... she didn't teach 9th grade English so I had bored myself except for the Mock U.N. English class. Come 10th grade I was suppose to take her class, and at the assembly before summer break she announced she was moving to Australia. The art teacher too. Ha! Having emptied half a bottle of gin with my friend Lucy in celebration for the last day of school that morning... I broke down in tears!! at the assembly!!! lol. I went crying to the English department later complaining that I was suppose to take her class in the fall. hahaha. I've always had a talent to make a scene under the influence, I guess. Come to think of it, there was no way teachers didn't smell alcohol... still a mystery.

So I've filled you up with this detail because last summer I heard that Ms.Brown was back in school. The art teacher too. I went into the office, see the back of her blonde head... "Ms.Brown?" She turns around slowly and stands up with both her hands on her cheeks, "Oh my god!!!" I expected to surprise her, but I wasn't ready for her to surprise me back with her reaction!! She was so in disbelief!! "Keiko?! Your face is all grown up! And your hair!!" (imagine the Brittish). And my hair, is like her hair only not blonde. And she kept giggling, I had forgotten that she did that a lot. She did it so much while looking at me and talking about back then... that I thought maybe she's high?! of course!! lol She said she couldn't recognize my face all grown up, but she remembers my face when I laugh lol. Maybe we both have the stoner laugh. of course!!

So I'm happy I was able to get that reaction from her after 8 years!!

So the story got long, but I hope you enjoyed. lol


party of one


I get bummed when I don't hear from you! Or maybe it's just that I get such a kick out of your posts that the rest of my time is boring comparatively...

It's a warm day in Philly! I'm wearing my torn jeans (from the Halloween party) and sitting in my chair with warm spring breezes blowing through my room, a Corona and green pastures...last week when I found out it was gonna be beautiful today, I started trying to recruit people for a trip to the park and some variable, but fucking everyone in busy! I don't understand what would not be worth blowing off. So I decided to have a party of one, and I bought a six-pack of Corona and changed into these jeans (because they're cooler, but also because I dropped a clod of cream cheese on them first thing this morning.)

See, now is the time when you need to be here. I know you'd've blown off school or for this!

Baby Ranks is playing on my new "Upbeat Stoner Mix" which I am editing, and expanding as I also download lots of Norah Jones.

I've been playing Zelda almost exclusively for these past two's a little addictive, and it takes up so much of my focus...the temples are really creepy and intense. It's been a great new distraction.

Stephen wrote a hysterical stoner poem last night, and I wanted to post it but the puta took it out of my room. Jessye was super hype about it and said it was clearly the best poem ever. I'll have to steal it back from him so I can post it next time...

Wish I knew what was happenin' in Osaka! Hoping you're having luck with the job search,