Wednesday, March 26, 2008

my eyes turned black and my hair caught fire


This past week has been hell on me. I've been interviewing, so I've been on edge about that, freaked about the fact that I might be working soon, and tense with the stress of having no money. I mean, you remember when we used to say we had no money but we used to go out drinking and get variable anyway? Cuz no, this is literally money. Which is not to complain, since my friends have been more than taking care of me (shout outs to Stephen, Zayne, Jessye and Kim). But still, it's not fun having no sucks even being in a position where your friends might normally buy you drinks anyway but this time you know you can't buy them drinks any time soon.

So today I had one good the morning I got up at 7 (cruel and unusually early if you ask me), had a cup of coffee and a cig and got dressed to walk my ass up to 18th and JFK by 9. It took about an hour to take their computer literacy tests and do the interview. The woman was really nice; she asked me what skills I'd like to improve on, and I said that I'd like to be more outgoing, because it's easy for me to help people in a customer service situation, but maybe I won't approach people often enough...and then she was like "Really? You seem very friendly and at ease," and I said "Well, I guess I have a little social anxiety is all," and she was like "yeah, but don't we all? I do."

So between calling me friendly (as opposed to SURLY) and telling me that it was no big deal to be socially anxious, she has endeared herself to me somewhat. She also made note of my special interests in writing, editing, and research and said that she would hold onto them in case some kind of quirky job came up that I might like.

So I left that one feeling refreshed and good about myself. I had been planning to just hang around downtown until my typing test at 16th and Market at 1, but it was only just after 10 and I was hungry so I walked home and made myself some pasta and watched FRIENDS. Then I got re-dressed up and walked all the way back up for the typing test. Now, let me give you some perspective before I tell you what happened next. On Monday I went into the Staffing Services for an interview I had scheduled with them more than a week before. I got there and filled out an application for about an half an hour; then I sit down with this woman - we shall call her Jackal - and she asks me 3 questions, then tells me I need to take a typing test. But, she explains, both computers are in use and it might be an hour before one becomes available. Would I like to wait, or schedule an appointment to take the test and complete the interview later in the week?

Thus I found myself at 16th and Market for my 1 o'clock appointment today. So I get there and both the computers are occupied. I wait for 30 minutes to get a computer, even though I scheduled a time 2 days ago to take this test. At 1:30, I sit down in front of a computer, and the tests they give are Flash-driven and their computers are these giant old wheezing PCs that might crumble to dust at any moment (even though they have really fancy new monitors and keyboards). In other words, I could read Kubla Kahn in the time it takes these fucking pages to load. So I sit staring at the screen for an hour, only occasionally answering questions or typing up a passage. At 2:30, I stand up from my computer and turn around to see that there is suddenly only one person in the office instead of six, and she is not the Jackal. She tells me that the Jackal has gone to lunch. She'll probably be gone for the whole hour. I should probably just call her for the scores.

And then my eyes turned black and my hair caught fire and I said "You know what lady? I WILL be calling Jackal. IN HELL!!!!!!"

And then I smiled politely and said "Sure, I'll do that. Thanks a lot."


PS - Apologies for the know...and also after walking back and forth through the city in Stephen's loafers the balls of my feet feel like someone forced me to dance tiptoe on a bed of nails. Is all.

No comments: