Bito,
That really sux about ur PW boss. Did u talk to her when u went in? I'm happy for u that u don't have to deal w the lack of acknowledgement there anymore.
Man! Kim's birthday sounds awesome!! I woulda loved to act in Midsummer Night's Dream!! I'm missin' out so much!!! Although, u guys are so missin' out on the cherry blossoms. I told u about our culture of "hanami"(translates: flower watching) re:sitting under cherry blossoms and drinking/bbqing.
So updating u on my job front... I went in for an interview on friday. First of all the interviewer was out of her mind stuck up. Second of all her questions were useless. Third of all I just zoned out coz I could not be less enthused about working in an environment w someone like her. I knew right away that as prestigious as it may be to be able to say I work for them, it's not worth coming in everyday if I don't like the environment. She asked me, "At our company we provide top class service. That means you will have to look very nice everyday and always have a smile on your face. How do you feel about dressing nicely everyday and putting make up on?" ... ummm I'm wearing a skirt suit and I'm wearing fuckin make up on my face what do u think? it's work... how dumb do i look? Also she asked, "If you are appointed as office assistant, you will have to make sure all the meeting rooms are dust-free clean. How do you feel about that? Do you think you can do it?" Then my eyes turned black and my hair caught on fire... lol. I looked at her in disbelief thinking, lady u said u need someone with English skills...if u need someone to just clean and look pretty go fuck urself. I looked straight at her and said, "I will do my job professionally whatever it is." The funniest thing is she and this other lady interviewed me in Japanese only.
So I left their office in the hilton building to have lunch w my dad. I decided that the insurance company would be a better match for me. I had a work lunch with the sports department people on saturday, and they all told me insurance company will wear me out. I think working at any company will wear me out... the important thing for me right now is having bosses that I can be at ease with professionally. It's not gna last if I just choose a job for its prestige n hate the actual workin environment. So this week I'm going in to discuss my work position in greater detail. They said last week that they were lookin for a part timer and a full timer, but I figured it'll be a great opportunity for me even if I start as a part timer coz once I have a year of working experience, I can say I've worked for an insurance company:) at my next interview for other jobs lol.
I also went Hanami on saturday after the lunch. There were maybe 3 buds blossoming lol! But there were like 20 people bbqing and drinking, so much fun!! It was in Rokko Island, which is a man-maid island in Kobe and for some reason a lot of foreigners live on the island. Probably because there's a huge american school there called Canadian Academy:) lol. They were our rival. Next weekend will probably be the best for cherry blossom watching.
Damn! Zayne's already about to leave? So ur gna keep the house if u get another roommate to sign the lease?? that's awesome, i hope u guys will keep the house so i can visit:) i really love 1722. I've moved around in philly but that was my favorite place.
So I'm reading Stranger now. When I went to pick it up from the store, I was like Eh???! coz i'ts like 700pages long. they got me the uncut version...may take me months to finish lol.
I hope Z or S is home by now to ease u out of existential breakdown.
"All things fall and are built again
And those that build them again are gay."
-K
Monday, March 31, 2008
update
Ongoing lack of acknowledgement at once unsetting and a relief. Waiting to get home to have intense existential breakdown. More later,
-Bito
-Bito
pet peeves and slate-grey skies
K,
It's a bleak-ass morning here, but i guess Monday mornings usually are? I feel like shit on a shingle. My throat is tired of smoking cigarettes, I'm sick of the smell. In less than an hour I have to head out to work at the PW for the last time...not this past Thursday, but the Thursday before (that would be more than 10 days ago now) I emailed my boss to tell her I couldn't make it in on Monday because I had a job interview. I know I'm not supposed to call out Mondays, but I think 4 days notice and the excuse that I fucking need to pay rent next month should be enough, but whatever. Then I let her know that I could no longer afford to do free labor, and that I needed to devote my time to finding paid work. I said that if there was a position open at the PW I'd love to be considered, but that I just couldn't afford to continue the internship (anyway, my 3 months was up back at the end of freakin' November). Anyway, the reason I'm irritated is that she never bothered to email me back. Not to scold, or interrogate, offer condolences or even acknowledge that she'd received the email. Whatever.
So perhaps you can imagine my lack of enthusiasm about showing up today. But show up I must, sadly. I may not have been the most involved or reliable intern, but I've done hours and hours of work for nothing, and you'd think that would be deserving of a return email.
Anyway. Yesterday Jessye and I went shopping for props for Kim's birthday party - it's weird that you don't already know about because it's what everybody's been talking about for a week now! In a couple of weeks, for Kim's birthday we are going to stage a complete performance of A Midsummer Night's Dream!!! I'm super hype. People will be ridiculously clad (Ste in high drag as Titania, me as Oberon so we can work out some of our bitter old married couple issues on the stage), making fools of themselves and getting drunker by the act. It sounds like so much fun. So J and I retrieved some fake flowers to scatter about the yard, and glitter for both the set and the actors.
So that's what I'm looking forward to as I try not to despair about lack of funds and the possibility that I may have to work this week. I guess I should be excited to be done with PW, but no one will be home when I get home and I imagine myself feeling more bitter than relieved. But that could just be because that's how I feel now.
In other news, a new roommate search is in the works posthaste. Zayne will be out of here in 6 weeks...it still seems like we barely got finished unpacking and we're doing a roommate search again. And all will still be up in the air until we find someone suitable who's also willing to sign a lease for 08-09. There's always so much to do, and everyday is one more spent waiting to here about financial aid for grad school...if I don't get any, I feel like a nervous breakdown will be completely called for. So I'm just hoping that when I hear back from Temple I can move towards at least having some vision of the future that includes some semblance of financial stability. Or stability at all. Things have gone to shambles really fuckin fast here at the end of my year off.
The only thing to do is wait and see.
-Bito
It's a bleak-ass morning here, but i guess Monday mornings usually are? I feel like shit on a shingle. My throat is tired of smoking cigarettes, I'm sick of the smell. In less than an hour I have to head out to work at the PW for the last time...not this past Thursday, but the Thursday before (that would be more than 10 days ago now) I emailed my boss to tell her I couldn't make it in on Monday because I had a job interview. I know I'm not supposed to call out Mondays, but I think 4 days notice and the excuse that I fucking need to pay rent next month should be enough, but whatever. Then I let her know that I could no longer afford to do free labor, and that I needed to devote my time to finding paid work. I said that if there was a position open at the PW I'd love to be considered, but that I just couldn't afford to continue the internship (anyway, my 3 months was up back at the end of freakin' November). Anyway, the reason I'm irritated is that she never bothered to email me back. Not to scold, or interrogate, offer condolences or even acknowledge that she'd received the email. Whatever.
So perhaps you can imagine my lack of enthusiasm about showing up today. But show up I must, sadly. I may not have been the most involved or reliable intern, but I've done hours and hours of work for nothing, and you'd think that would be deserving of a return email.
Anyway. Yesterday Jessye and I went shopping for props for Kim's birthday party - it's weird that you don't already know about because it's what everybody's been talking about for a week now! In a couple of weeks, for Kim's birthday we are going to stage a complete performance of A Midsummer Night's Dream!!! I'm super hype. People will be ridiculously clad (Ste in high drag as Titania, me as Oberon so we can work out some of our bitter old married couple issues on the stage), making fools of themselves and getting drunker by the act. It sounds like so much fun. So J and I retrieved some fake flowers to scatter about the yard, and glitter for both the set and the actors.
So that's what I'm looking forward to as I try not to despair about lack of funds and the possibility that I may have to work this week. I guess I should be excited to be done with PW, but no one will be home when I get home and I imagine myself feeling more bitter than relieved. But that could just be because that's how I feel now.
In other news, a new roommate search is in the works posthaste. Zayne will be out of here in 6 weeks...it still seems like we barely got finished unpacking and we're doing a roommate search again. And all will still be up in the air until we find someone suitable who's also willing to sign a lease for 08-09. There's always so much to do, and everyday is one more spent waiting to here about financial aid for grad school...if I don't get any, I feel like a nervous breakdown will be completely called for. So I'm just hoping that when I hear back from Temple I can move towards at least having some vision of the future that includes some semblance of financial stability. Or stability at all. Things have gone to shambles really fuckin fast here at the end of my year off.
The only thing to do is wait and see.
-Bito
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
March 25, Tuesday
Bito,
When I first read your title I was like, "Oh oh! Did A just take some shroomz? Hope she had a good trip." Lol. I know how you must feel about money situation... remember I was stressed out about that too? It's wonderful that you have friends, and it's not like you're gna mooch off of them forever. You'll get a chance to give back. I think that's the best source of motivation. You're not only working your ass off for yourself, but also to give back to the people who helped you. It's a great feeling, appreciation. It'll get you through the tough times re:slow computers n Jackal. hahaha. I remember you bought me drinks when I really had no money, and you've always helped me out so much! The day that I will be able to give back to you is not far:) Good friends are my treasure, whose memories are the only thing I wish to take with me eternally beyond this life.
So Tuesday was a real happening day for me man! After I finished posting and got ready to head out the door, I received a phone call from my Saturday School Boss. Remember the Summer program I worked for? The same boss, he's the coordinator of sports department. It is now official that I'll be working for the sports department again starting April(new school year)!!! Which means that if I get a full time job (Mon-Fri), I'll be working 6days a week but Sat. School is more like a hobby! I have fun with kids, and get to play sports, and get paid! Sweet:)
When I got to the insurance company, they put me in their nice meeting room. The Canadian guy and the Japanese lady sat across from me, and in my head, "Is this going to be an interview?" Anyways I had my resume so they took a look at it, and started asking me questions. It was very casual tho. So we talked for like 2 hours about what kind of work they do, and what kind of work I've done. They especially liked what I had to say about working at Paley Library! lol. Crazy demanding patrons of Paley Library re:professors with stick up their asses. They said they get crazy phone calls from upset customers who don't know what their insurance covers and what not. I think I can handle that. Then they asked me if I applied for other companies, and I told them I had just applied for one recently. I was waiting to hear back from them. They said they would like to have me on board, but also said there is no hard feeling if I chose to go to the other company. So I left saying I would inform them after I finish the interview with the other company.
This other company is an Australian company that provides top class business offices & service. I've been there once when I went to see a career consultant I met at the first business event I attended. His company is based in Tokyo so they rent an office from this Aus. company to expand their business in Osaka. (I hope I'm painting a good picture for you of what it is.)
Anyways, when I left the insurance company I had a voicemail from the Aus. company saying they'd like to schedule a date for an interview. I was so excited just coming out of a 2 hour interview! So I have another one tomorrow!! The lady on the phone said to bring writing utensils so I assume there's going to be some kinda test as well. So hopefully I'll know which company I will be working for in the next couple of weeks. April is the beginning of new school/work year so it's exciting. I didn't imagine I'd be fortunate enough to start work this year with no experience in the 'real world'. I'm just keeping up with a mindset of keep looking for opportunities and keep trying.
Perhaps this blog is my lucky charm!! I think it would have been boring for me to just do it on my own. This is so much more interesting blogging with you!!! Like I said to my friend's big sister when she said she wants to research about sexuality, "That's so awesome! We should write a book together!! We can collaborate. Life is collaboration!!" Thank you Bito for coming up with this genius idea (and remembering that I said I wanted to blog:)!!!!!!!
Let me know about your mission re:job hunt. Don't be tense about working... you never know if you like it or not until you've tried (just like the cuisines you've tried in the past year). Don't think you always look surly... remember you can be whatever you make yourself to be. I know that first hand! In my case, it went in the negative direction in Philly. Being in a foreign soil, I thought everyone was out to deceive me or hurt me... so I had to keep my guards up (which made me extrememly sensitive to every little damn shit), but that's extremely exhausting and I fell apart. You can be confident that you're a friendly out going person (have many great people around you), and you're smart so you're able to do anything you set your mind to.
Gta take whatever life has to offer you!!
Always taking it to the next level,
-K
When I first read your title I was like, "Oh oh! Did A just take some shroomz? Hope she had a good trip." Lol. I know how you must feel about money situation... remember I was stressed out about that too? It's wonderful that you have friends, and it's not like you're gna mooch off of them forever. You'll get a chance to give back. I think that's the best source of motivation. You're not only working your ass off for yourself, but also to give back to the people who helped you. It's a great feeling, appreciation. It'll get you through the tough times re:slow computers n Jackal. hahaha. I remember you bought me drinks when I really had no money, and you've always helped me out so much! The day that I will be able to give back to you is not far:) Good friends are my treasure, whose memories are the only thing I wish to take with me eternally beyond this life.
So Tuesday was a real happening day for me man! After I finished posting and got ready to head out the door, I received a phone call from my Saturday School Boss. Remember the Summer program I worked for? The same boss, he's the coordinator of sports department. It is now official that I'll be working for the sports department again starting April(new school year)!!! Which means that if I get a full time job (Mon-Fri), I'll be working 6days a week but Sat. School is more like a hobby! I have fun with kids, and get to play sports, and get paid! Sweet:)
When I got to the insurance company, they put me in their nice meeting room. The Canadian guy and the Japanese lady sat across from me, and in my head, "Is this going to be an interview?" Anyways I had my resume so they took a look at it, and started asking me questions. It was very casual tho. So we talked for like 2 hours about what kind of work they do, and what kind of work I've done. They especially liked what I had to say about working at Paley Library! lol. Crazy demanding patrons of Paley Library re:professors with stick up their asses. They said they get crazy phone calls from upset customers who don't know what their insurance covers and what not. I think I can handle that. Then they asked me if I applied for other companies, and I told them I had just applied for one recently. I was waiting to hear back from them. They said they would like to have me on board, but also said there is no hard feeling if I chose to go to the other company. So I left saying I would inform them after I finish the interview with the other company.
This other company is an Australian company that provides top class business offices & service. I've been there once when I went to see a career consultant I met at the first business event I attended. His company is based in Tokyo so they rent an office from this Aus. company to expand their business in Osaka. (I hope I'm painting a good picture for you of what it is.)
Anyways, when I left the insurance company I had a voicemail from the Aus. company saying they'd like to schedule a date for an interview. I was so excited just coming out of a 2 hour interview! So I have another one tomorrow!! The lady on the phone said to bring writing utensils so I assume there's going to be some kinda test as well. So hopefully I'll know which company I will be working for in the next couple of weeks. April is the beginning of new school/work year so it's exciting. I didn't imagine I'd be fortunate enough to start work this year with no experience in the 'real world'. I'm just keeping up with a mindset of keep looking for opportunities and keep trying.
Perhaps this blog is my lucky charm!! I think it would have been boring for me to just do it on my own. This is so much more interesting blogging with you!!! Like I said to my friend's big sister when she said she wants to research about sexuality, "That's so awesome! We should write a book together!! We can collaborate. Life is collaboration!!" Thank you Bito for coming up with this genius idea (and remembering that I said I wanted to blog:)!!!!!!!
Let me know about your mission re:job hunt. Don't be tense about working... you never know if you like it or not until you've tried (just like the cuisines you've tried in the past year). Don't think you always look surly... remember you can be whatever you make yourself to be. I know that first hand! In my case, it went in the negative direction in Philly. Being in a foreign soil, I thought everyone was out to deceive me or hurt me... so I had to keep my guards up (which made me extrememly sensitive to every little damn shit), but that's extremely exhausting and I fell apart. You can be confident that you're a friendly out going person (have many great people around you), and you're smart so you're able to do anything you set your mind to.
Gta take whatever life has to offer you!!
Always taking it to the next level,
-K
my eyes turned black and my hair caught fire
K,
This past week has been hell on me. I've been interviewing, so I've been on edge about that, freaked about the fact that I might be working soon, and tense with the stress of having no money. I mean, you remember when we used to say we had no money but we used to go out drinking and get variable anyway? Cuz no, this is literally like...no money. Which is not to complain, since my friends have been more than taking care of me (shout outs to Stephen, Zayne, Jessye and Kim). But still, it's not fun having no money...it sucks even being in a position where your friends might normally buy you drinks anyway but this time you know you can't buy them drinks any time soon.
So today I had one good interview...in the morning I got up at 7 (cruel and unusually early if you ask me), had a cup of coffee and a cig and got dressed to walk my ass up to 18th and JFK by 9. It took about an hour to take their computer literacy tests and do the interview. The woman was really nice; she asked me what skills I'd like to improve on, and I said that I'd like to be more outgoing, because it's easy for me to help people in a customer service situation, but maybe I won't approach people often enough...and then she was like "Really? You seem very friendly and at ease," and I said "Well, I guess I have a little social anxiety is all," and she was like "yeah, but don't we all? I do."
So between calling me friendly (as opposed to SURLY) and telling me that it was no big deal to be socially anxious, she has endeared herself to me somewhat. She also made note of my special interests in writing, editing, and research and said that she would hold onto them in case some kind of quirky job came up that I might like.
So I left that one feeling refreshed and good about myself. I had been planning to just hang around downtown until my typing test at 16th and Market at 1, but it was only just after 10 and I was hungry so I walked home and made myself some pasta and watched FRIENDS. Then I got re-dressed up and walked all the way back up for the typing test. Now, let me give you some perspective before I tell you what happened next. On Monday I went into the Staffing Services for an interview I had scheduled with them more than a week before. I got there and filled out an application for about an half an hour; then I sit down with this woman - we shall call her Jackal - and she asks me 3 questions, then tells me I need to take a typing test. But, she explains, both computers are in use and it might be an hour before one becomes available. Would I like to wait, or schedule an appointment to take the test and complete the interview later in the week?
Thus I found myself at 16th and Market for my 1 o'clock appointment today. So I get there and both the computers are occupied. I wait for 30 minutes to get a computer, even though I scheduled a time 2 days ago to take this test. At 1:30, I sit down in front of a computer, and the tests they give are Flash-driven and their computers are these giant old wheezing PCs that might crumble to dust at any moment (even though they have really fancy new monitors and keyboards). In other words, I could read Kubla Kahn in the time it takes these fucking pages to load. So I sit staring at the screen for an hour, only occasionally answering questions or typing up a passage. At 2:30, I stand up from my computer and turn around to see that there is suddenly only one person in the office instead of six, and she is not the Jackal. She tells me that the Jackal has gone to lunch. She'll probably be gone for the whole hour. I should probably just call her for the scores.
And then my eyes turned black and my hair caught fire and I said "You know what lady? I WILL be calling Jackal. IN HELL!!!!!!"
And then I smiled politely and said "Sure, I'll do that. Thanks a lot."
-Bito
PS - Apologies for the wordiness...you know...and also after walking back and forth through the city in Stephen's loafers the balls of my feet feel like someone forced me to dance tiptoe on a bed of nails. Is all.
This past week has been hell on me. I've been interviewing, so I've been on edge about that, freaked about the fact that I might be working soon, and tense with the stress of having no money. I mean, you remember when we used to say we had no money but we used to go out drinking and get variable anyway? Cuz no, this is literally like...no money. Which is not to complain, since my friends have been more than taking care of me (shout outs to Stephen, Zayne, Jessye and Kim). But still, it's not fun having no money...it sucks even being in a position where your friends might normally buy you drinks anyway but this time you know you can't buy them drinks any time soon.
So today I had one good interview...in the morning I got up at 7 (cruel and unusually early if you ask me), had a cup of coffee and a cig and got dressed to walk my ass up to 18th and JFK by 9. It took about an hour to take their computer literacy tests and do the interview. The woman was really nice; she asked me what skills I'd like to improve on, and I said that I'd like to be more outgoing, because it's easy for me to help people in a customer service situation, but maybe I won't approach people often enough...and then she was like "Really? You seem very friendly and at ease," and I said "Well, I guess I have a little social anxiety is all," and she was like "yeah, but don't we all? I do."
So between calling me friendly (as opposed to SURLY) and telling me that it was no big deal to be socially anxious, she has endeared herself to me somewhat. She also made note of my special interests in writing, editing, and research and said that she would hold onto them in case some kind of quirky job came up that I might like.
So I left that one feeling refreshed and good about myself. I had been planning to just hang around downtown until my typing test at 16th and Market at 1, but it was only just after 10 and I was hungry so I walked home and made myself some pasta and watched FRIENDS. Then I got re-dressed up and walked all the way back up for the typing test. Now, let me give you some perspective before I tell you what happened next. On Monday I went into the Staffing Services for an interview I had scheduled with them more than a week before. I got there and filled out an application for about an half an hour; then I sit down with this woman - we shall call her Jackal - and she asks me 3 questions, then tells me I need to take a typing test. But, she explains, both computers are in use and it might be an hour before one becomes available. Would I like to wait, or schedule an appointment to take the test and complete the interview later in the week?
Thus I found myself at 16th and Market for my 1 o'clock appointment today. So I get there and both the computers are occupied. I wait for 30 minutes to get a computer, even though I scheduled a time 2 days ago to take this test. At 1:30, I sit down in front of a computer, and the tests they give are Flash-driven and their computers are these giant old wheezing PCs that might crumble to dust at any moment (even though they have really fancy new monitors and keyboards). In other words, I could read Kubla Kahn in the time it takes these fucking pages to load. So I sit staring at the screen for an hour, only occasionally answering questions or typing up a passage. At 2:30, I stand up from my computer and turn around to see that there is suddenly only one person in the office instead of six, and she is not the Jackal. She tells me that the Jackal has gone to lunch. She'll probably be gone for the whole hour. I should probably just call her for the scores.
And then my eyes turned black and my hair caught fire and I said "You know what lady? I WILL be calling Jackal. IN HELL!!!!!!"
And then I smiled politely and said "Sure, I'll do that. Thanks a lot."
-Bito
PS - Apologies for the wordiness...you know...and also after walking back and forth through the city in Stephen's loafers the balls of my feet feel like someone forced me to dance tiptoe on a bed of nails. Is all.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Ignorance is bliss?
Bito,
Gored gored sounds... well just like it sounds:) the only raw meat I ever had was horse meat and that was delicious. So I believe you about it being tasty haha.
So I called my friend's big sister up, coz she's been on my mind for some reason, n met up with her. She's so fuckin awesome!!! I was telling her about how I'm meeting lesbians online, and found out about this event they have every month called Ladykiller. N she was like, "E? Do you have to be a lesbian to get in??" No, it's just like girl party but really no males allowed even if ur gay. They have pole dancers, and performers, and different djs for every hour. And then she said, "OH!! That sounds interesting! I wanna go." lol so, you might be hearing about a Japanese girl party soon;) hehe
I've been making a few lesbian contacts via the internet. They get together to have parties every now and then, and they welcome new comers who come alone lol. It's more than I expected!!! I've never met someone who I met online in person, except for the Temple Law student lol, so I don't know how to feel about it. It just sounds like lots of lesbians gettin together to have fun so that's cool:)
I also met a couple of friends from high school yesterday. It was like laughing none stop!! and then on my way home, I notice I had like 12 unread text from R... I had just told her that morning that I had fucked someone else while we were together because she asked. I never meant to use the truth to hurt anyone. She sounded really pissed like "why would you do that to me? what did i do to you? u ruin me. u make me wanna die. ur a liar. deceitful, destructive, immature, and have insecurities that will never go away." WOw those are strong words. Ok, that's ok. She can say whatever and it's no going to change anything...just made me feel bad a little but I could only say "ok." Then she wanted to know who. But I don't think it's relevant anymore. Whatever happened is between me and them... why should I out them? Plus we are not together anymore, and I really don't feel the need. It was just really ugly with her calling me names n being pure mean. I just said "leave me alone and be happy w ur new woman."
After I said bye to my friends, started reading all the texts. It was like, "tell me who. i tell u who i fucked." "it's gna hurt u. can u handle?" and she started naming guys that she fucked and a lil details too. And Bito, that was the happiest I have ever felt since I've been with her. You have no idea! The feeling of, I was right lifted me and I felt so light. I was sad that she really wanted to hurt me by telling me the things she's been hiding from me. It's unfortunate that you actually try to hurt someone's feeling like that... I was really unimpressed. But I was so thankful. And all this time I've felt pain... everything just vanished. The vision is, clouds parting and it's a clear blue sky!!! She said, "You see not knowing somethings makes us happier. ignorance is bliss or sloth?" I totally disagreed. Yes I thought ignorance was bliss... but I have made a huge discovery about myself:) So I just wanted to share w u this valuable experience I had yesterday.
I apologize for all the troubles I have caused you, and you were always there for me. Hey man, gta have love for people... we are so not perfect.
On that note, gotta get ready. I'm gna visit the insurance people at their office remember?
Sending lots of love and smile:)
-K
Gored gored sounds... well just like it sounds:) the only raw meat I ever had was horse meat and that was delicious. So I believe you about it being tasty haha.
So I called my friend's big sister up, coz she's been on my mind for some reason, n met up with her. She's so fuckin awesome!!! I was telling her about how I'm meeting lesbians online, and found out about this event they have every month called Ladykiller. N she was like, "E? Do you have to be a lesbian to get in??" No, it's just like girl party but really no males allowed even if ur gay. They have pole dancers, and performers, and different djs for every hour. And then she said, "OH!! That sounds interesting! I wanna go." lol so, you might be hearing about a Japanese girl party soon;) hehe
I've been making a few lesbian contacts via the internet. They get together to have parties every now and then, and they welcome new comers who come alone lol. It's more than I expected!!! I've never met someone who I met online in person, except for the Temple Law student lol, so I don't know how to feel about it. It just sounds like lots of lesbians gettin together to have fun so that's cool:)
I also met a couple of friends from high school yesterday. It was like laughing none stop!! and then on my way home, I notice I had like 12 unread text from R... I had just told her that morning that I had fucked someone else while we were together because she asked. I never meant to use the truth to hurt anyone. She sounded really pissed like "why would you do that to me? what did i do to you? u ruin me. u make me wanna die. ur a liar. deceitful, destructive, immature, and have insecurities that will never go away." WOw those are strong words. Ok, that's ok. She can say whatever and it's no going to change anything...just made me feel bad a little but I could only say "ok." Then she wanted to know who. But I don't think it's relevant anymore. Whatever happened is between me and them... why should I out them? Plus we are not together anymore, and I really don't feel the need. It was just really ugly with her calling me names n being pure mean. I just said "leave me alone and be happy w ur new woman."
After I said bye to my friends, started reading all the texts. It was like, "tell me who. i tell u who i fucked." "it's gna hurt u. can u handle?" and she started naming guys that she fucked and a lil details too. And Bito, that was the happiest I have ever felt since I've been with her. You have no idea! The feeling of, I was right lifted me and I felt so light. I was sad that she really wanted to hurt me by telling me the things she's been hiding from me. It's unfortunate that you actually try to hurt someone's feeling like that... I was really unimpressed. But I was so thankful. And all this time I've felt pain... everything just vanished. The vision is, clouds parting and it's a clear blue sky!!! She said, "You see not knowing somethings makes us happier. ignorance is bliss or sloth?" I totally disagreed. Yes I thought ignorance was bliss... but I have made a huge discovery about myself:) So I just wanted to share w u this valuable experience I had yesterday.
I apologize for all the troubles I have caused you, and you were always there for me. Hey man, gta have love for people... we are so not perfect.
On that note, gotta get ready. I'm gna visit the insurance people at their office remember?
Sending lots of love and smile:)
-K
Saturday, March 22, 2008
gored gored
K,
The title is the name of the meal I had last night at Abyssinia. (You remember the Ethiopian restaurant in West Philly? I know you were in there once...) It was basically a pile of little chunks of raw beef in this super-spicy sauce. Now, many in my immediate circle questioned my choice of consuming said uncooked meat - Kim refused the Ethiopian tradition of sharing a plate, and when I told Stephen about my leftovers he gave me a horrified look. I dismissed them all as unadventurous. In fact, the gored gored was quite delicious, and spicy enough to satisfy my taste buds (which have been immunized by scorching pho). But, you know, it also turned out to be a little hard to digest. I have decided to consider this a failing on the part of my digestive tract, and not of the idea of eating spicy raw beef. Still, I will be pan-frying the beef before I eat the leftovers this morning. Although I think that's really just good sense considering I know exactly zilch about the preservation of already prepared raw meat.
-Bito
The title is the name of the meal I had last night at Abyssinia. (You remember the Ethiopian restaurant in West Philly? I know you were in there once...) It was basically a pile of little chunks of raw beef in this super-spicy sauce. Now, many in my immediate circle questioned my choice of consuming said uncooked meat - Kim refused the Ethiopian tradition of sharing a plate, and when I told Stephen about my leftovers he gave me a horrified look. I dismissed them all as unadventurous. In fact, the gored gored was quite delicious, and spicy enough to satisfy my taste buds (which have been immunized by scorching pho). But, you know, it also turned out to be a little hard to digest. I have decided to consider this a failing on the part of my digestive tract, and not of the idea of eating spicy raw beef. Still, I will be pan-frying the beef before I eat the leftovers this morning. Although I think that's really just good sense considering I know exactly zilch about the preservation of already prepared raw meat.
-Bito
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
