Wednesday, October 14, 2009

baby i can see your halo

Yeah so my brother downloaded the Glee soundtrack and I can't get it out of my head. Ahhh! Fortunately, the only side effects are inexplicable peppiness and joy.

So you haven't posted! What's up in Takarazuka? How is the new job going? How is the not smoking going? I'm not quite there yet - in fact, I may be smoking a few more cigarettes a day now that I'm working full time because I can't NOT get out of this room for a few minutes every couple of hours or I'd lose my mind. Still, it's only a rare occasion when I smoke more than 5 or 6 a day, and I can live with that. I remember a few winters ago when we would have people over at the house everyday sparkling, I was up to 2 packs a day - and they were Marlboro Menthols. Ugh! Remember the days when we had nothing to do but smoke cigarettes, and only enough money to buy whatever 2-for-1 deals they had at the 7-11?

Bad times for my lungs.

Speaking of bad times, it's not surprising that you get that stabbing feeling in your ribcage still. Considering how much emotional trauma even I suffered during that time, I can't begin to imagine how you've processed it. I would never wish on anyone what you guys went through, and though I might have been wrong-headed sometimes with my interference, at the time I know we both did what we thought we needed to do. I know you must be scarred from what went down because sometimes I felt like watching what the relationship was doing to my best bro was the hardest thing I've ever done and I tried every way I could think of to protect you.

But not to be a Debbie Downer. I truly believe that time heals all wounds. How could it not? Memories fade and even though you might always remember feeling heartbreak, well, your heart will not always be broken - I suspect it has already put itself back together. Just keep focusing on being you and being happy and before long you will not even recognize the person you were then, and the hurt will will be an old memory, too.

On to lighter topics: I had a FABULOUS weekend. In fact, I intend to make every fucking weekend fabulous now that they're all I have. I know I've only been at this full time business for a week and a half but I've been watching this excellent British sitcom called "Spaced" with my brother, and it makes me miss being unemployed! (shhh - I don't mean it Universe!) It's basically a bizarre British stoner nerd version of FRIENDS. I just get pangs when they party late and wake up in the afternoon with nothing to do but go on wacky missions and hang out with their friends.

How sad is it that life doesn't work that way all the time?

Anyway, my weekend. It's gotten very chilly and autumnal here in Philly so on Saturday I took a long drive through Bucks County with my brother and his friend, Stubbs. Naturally, between each destination we were sure to introduce a new variable. We had breakfast at a diner, I bought a frickin' tie-dye hoody at Quakertown mart, we hiked through a 5-acre corn maze, scouted the Moravian Tile Works in Doylestown for fortifications in the event of a zombie infestation, and got fresh, cold apple cider and cider doughnuts at Styer's Orchard. And the drive was gorgeous - Alex's GPS capabilities on his iPhone let us take the most direct, and extremely scenic, routes.

Sunday was perhaps even more epic. Stephen had canceled on going on the drive with us Saturday to play a funeral, so he agreed to come down after church Sunday and we took the train into the city for Outfest. We brought with us a couple of white iced tea bottles filled to the brim with cheap riesling, of course. Lol. Oh and I ate a variable cookie on the train, too. So by the time we got to the Gayborhood we were already pretty ripped.

We met up with Kim, and continued drinking, wandering around the vendors, dancing to the music and yelling obscenities at the Christian protesters telling us we could achieve heterosexuality through Christ's love. Ha! What was really funny was when they turned the mic over to the gays and let us ask questions. I really wanted to be like "So, if I don't believe in Jesus, I'm going to hell, anyway, right? K, then I think I'll go right along eating pussy. Thx."

But naturally I just hollered at them something about Jesus eating pussy instead. Lol.

We eventually headed over to Tavern On Camac (try to control your shock) to meet up with Laura Spagnioli, better known as L-Spags, Stephen's former French prof. I had met L-Spags once before, this past summer when we were still living in S Philly. Stephen and I started a short-lived tradition called "cafe day" where we would walk to the Good Karma cafe on 22nd St and Pine and sit outside sipping coffee, smoking cigs, and harshly judging passersby.

On this one particular occasion, Stephen had planned to meet with L-Spags alone to discuss an essay for grad school, but when he got to the house in the morning I was still awake after staying up all night smoking and watching TV on DVD. Anyway, he insisted I go with him for coffee since I couldn't risk throwing off my whole sleep schedule by going to bed at 11am, and that's where I met L-Spags who I found to be bright, witty, and just a whole lot of fun. Plus it was good to hang out with an academic type again.

Wow, I think I've been typing this on and off for almost 2 hours. I really need to stop going off on background-info tangents so much, lol!

So back to Outfest: we enjoyed a round of Tequila Sunrises at TOC - which true to TOC form were made with Jose Cuervo and were about 80% tequila, 20% sunrise. DeLIcious. We decided to wander more, but didn't get very far because there was a huge impromptu dance party happening outside of Venture Inn where they had speakers and a DJ booth set up. We danced for a while and saw a vogue contest unfold...then we walked out to Spruce St and promptly got caught up in a street-wide line dance including scantily-clad go-go dancers and ANOTHER vogue contest. As we speak I have pictures of a man's naked ass on my phone because for some drunken reason I thought Stephen would want pics of the go-go dancers for prosperity LOL.

Eventually, it got late and we wrapped up the day with a big, alcohol-absorbing meal with Kim at Bucca di Beppo and caught a train home.

All in all, a pretty epic weekend. On the slate for this weekend, though, is mostly me locking myself in my room and working on grad school applications. As I continually lament, I am woefully behind in the process - but in reality, there's just not THAT much work to do, so I am going to make a push and hopefully by this time next week I will be feeling prepared and on top of things. (Of course I will take a few work breaks - to hold a Glee marathon with Ste on Friday night, and hang out with Matt and Deb in S Philly on Saturday night. Just don't expect any crazy stories.)

Then next week it's back to business, because we're going live with the Canadian cities - our clients won't be using the information yet, but it will be active in our system for all the supervisors and the big boss man to see, so I will have to be on top of my shit. Sigh.

3 hours later, I've officially run out of writing steam (I seem to have run out of decent material approximately .5 hours in, lol. But never let it be said that I never let it be said.) I look forward to another post from you. They totally improve my days, so get on that shit!

Brotherly Love,


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