Wednesday, September 2, 2009

why you act dumb like uhhh..duhhh


Aaaah! I miss this blog! I realized this when I got bored at work about 2 hours ago and started reading the whole thing from the beginning, lol. Getting to hear from you and knowing what was going on in your life from the blog - well, it may not compare to smoking under our tree, listening to your stories of adventures past - but it has to be the next best thing.

When I go to write it down it feels like so much has been happening! Even though most days I just feel like I'm sitting around waiting for something to happen. But that's not doing justice to my life, and to my summer.

I'm still working at Traffic, even though my hours got cut in half back in April when they laid off half the department. It's been pretty cool, though, because I applied for partial unemployment so good old Uncle Sam has been kicking in (even an extra $50 because of the "economic stimulus package") and I'm making not much less than I was when I was working 40 hours a I'm not fucking working 40 hours a week!! haha. But actually, just yesterday I interviewed for a full-time position here (the same one i interviewed for in April right before the shitstorm hit) and my boss told me that as far as she's concerned, someone would have to knock me out of a spot in order for me not to get the job. So that sounds good! Although as I told Ste, it's not as if my hopes even have the energy to get up anymore, lol. So with a little luck soon I'll be all full-time and legit and shit.

I've also been talking endlessly about how I'm applying to grad schools for Fall 2010 (for an English PhD) but so far I haven't actually taken any steps toward doing that except figuring out which schools I like. You know I'm a slacker, damn!

Anyway, in more amusing topics...Ste and I went on a road trip to see Rich this summer! I almost couldn't believe I convinced Ste to take 10 days off even as we lit up the j driving through Washngton, DC at dawn! lol. We took a half with us this time and spent much time in Rich's room chillaxin and listening to awesome music or floating in his pool.

But we also took a 3-day trip to Charleston and Savannah and hit up the beaches and gay bars of the South! The Savannah beach was so amazing, man...the water was warm and calm and there were pelicans overhead and even a pod of dolphins swimming only 50 feet out from us! And Charleston and Savannah are just the most charming little towns you could Charleston we bought coffee from a shop where these two hippies were sitting playing strange instruments (one of them was just scratching at a pizza box with this little wire thing - it was weird but so much fun)and in Savannah we chased each other through the streets, splashing through sprinklers on the lawns and jumping up to grab the Spanish moss out of the trees...

The trip was a blast, and I was sad to be back, especially since being back meant dealing with all of the moving-out shit. All told, it wasn't too bad...Stephen's new "family" (the older couple he's living with in Sellersville) helped me move my furniture EXTREMELY cheaply in their trailer. They're nice people, and they love me because I can mock Stephen even better than they can lol. But still, it was a sad time having to leave my room (my beautiful room!) and our roof (our beautiful, amazing roof!!) and move in with my parents.

Still, so far I've been getting along with the fam better than I would've thought at the beginning of all of this. In particular, my brother and I have had suspiciously few disagreements and have actually become quite chummy. No doubt this is in part due to our mutual interest in mota haha. We did spend much of the summer smoking and conversating in the backyard, or playing this board game called Settlers of Catan that I became obsessed with.

We also had the company of one of Alex's friends, Phoebe, this baby dyke who lived with us for the summer (since she had to move out of the house she was in, but left at the end of August to study in Tokyo, so she only needed a place to crash for a couple months, and our guest room was free after I moved in officially.) And predictably my unflagging ability to develop an attraction to the most convenient possible person kicked in and I developed something of a crush on her.

You're actually the first person I will have told about this, assuming you read it. What with my history of letting closeness turn into unrequited feelings turn into obsessions, I've become pretty mistrustful of my own feelings. Still, it was nice to have feelings for someone at all, considering the last person I was seriously interested in was Jessye (weird!) and that was, what, 2 years ago? I've become quite an emotional hermit. Out of necessity, I sometimes think.

Anyway, I don't know where the crush thing came from since she's not really my type - at all, in fact - and she's kind of quiet and withdrawn and hard to get to know. I guess my romantic side just got damn bored after a while lol. And I say things like that to myself, and then I wonder if I'm just repressing how I actually feel? I don't fucking know! I swear, I bore myself, lol. And I don't know why I've found it so hard to talk to anyone else about it. I'm worried I'll bore them, too!

Ugh! I miss you! I miss having you as a confidant, as a bad influence, and as someone to influence badly. Remember when we were still in Queer Theory, and we used to sit in the Tech Center while Brit was in class and just talk and joke around? We had so many good fucking times man!

Anyway, I didn't mean to bore you with all of this, lol. But I would love to hear from you more, and I'd be lying if I said I couldn't use the motivation to write more often. Hope things are well in Japan...tell me everything! You still living with the rents? Seeing anybody? Planning a trip stateside? Or to Amsterdam?

Brotherly Love,


PS - Unclear what the title has to do with was just the Missy Elliot lyric that popped in my head when I started writing lol.

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