Friday, September 18, 2009

I don't feel like dancin' when the old Joanna plays...

Oh, Keiko. Keiko, Keiko, Keiko.

That really is hysterical (and shitty) about your date. Reading your email exchange (both on Sunday and again today) I went back and forth between looking horrified (like, "Bitch, please!) and laughing smugly at this person who took it upon herself to tell you about yourself. And that pretty much sums up my reaction:

Bitch, please!

It sounds like you jumped on the crazy train to bad date-ville when you met up with her. A) of all - who is so much of a hater that the first thing she is gonna tell you after your date is that you had ugly shoes?? Thas crazy. Thas crazy. She crazy.

I obviously don't know as well as you but it sounds like you got another one fresh off the lesboat. I mean, to quote at length:

i have been going through a very difficult stage,trying to explore something in me, trying to be authentic and i feel so alone, alienated, scared and confused. so confused... and i had these ridiculous expectations that last night would clarify everything for me, that what im feeling would suddenly make sense

It's like, gee, Nevenka, you were hoping that this one first date with a person you met for 5 seconds in a dark bar was going to clarify everything for you? Well, no fucking pressure then, I wonder how the date could possibly have gone wrong?

I mean it sounds to me like all she wanted was to have sex with you so she could figure out if she was gay. Like you said in your response to her, why else would she invite you over to her place if, as she claims, you made her feel like crap the whole time?

You're spot on talking about her not being able to accept partial responsibility for the bad date. If she needs to send a nasty email full of haterade after a date just because she didn't get laid at the end, then she is a deeply immature person, which is really sad for someone who's 28. But I guess if she's going through some angsty coming out shit it makes sense that she'd be acting like a high school girl who just got turned down for the prom. Damn.

Anyway, those are my feelings on THAT shit. And in the long run, you're much better off knowing she crazy right off the bat - I mean, god forbid, you might have tried to be friends with her or something, and who knows what drama she could have spun from that. Oh, and one final thing: "that you identify yourself as a "butch" lesbian - was not a problem for me - you still manage to be really hot and sexy" ??

Like your gender identity was some sort of obstacle you needed to overcome in order to be attractive? Blrlrllrbbrlbrbrbl <<[Ed. note: this is the sound of me having a WTF seizure]

Bitch, PLEASE.

All right, I'm really done this time, lol. So, Saturday! I got out of work at 8 and headed to West Philly, to where Kim is living now, in one room of a huge house owned by a couple of friends of hers. Jessye came over, and we sampled some variable and listened to the Scissor Sisters (my new fave band EVER, btw) and tried to figure out a woman all three of us agreed was gorgeous. I had many suggestions, needless to say, but the only person we could all agree on was Rashida Jones.

Anyway. LOL. We left for Elena's, where the dance party is, around 11. We were headed upstairs, Kim in front, when all of a sudden she turns around and starts pushing us back down the stairs, whispering "It's empty, just go, go, go." For real, dude there were only like 2 people up there with the bartender and the DJ, it was kind of sad, lol. And we left the house specifically so we'd get there fashionably late!

So we went to Dalahk for a little while. It would have been nicer if it wasn't drizzling, but even so there were mad people there, even out back and we had no place to sit. Still, I was determined to get my drink on because I wanted to dance, and you know me and the whole lowered inhibitions thing. So I downed a Jim Beam and Coke, and then a couple of Jack and Cokes when they ran out of Jim lol. Oh, Dalahk!

A couple of notes on the drinkery situation: one, I'm getting away from drinking vodka all the time. I spent too many nights and too much money guzzling vodka for hours and never once feeling drunk until I would lay down and get the bedspins. I think maybe at this point my body doesn't recognize the difference between vodka and the blood coursing through my veins? Dunno, It's a mystery for another time. For now, though I'm a-stickin' to whiskey and the occasional tequila. But the second note is re: Dalahk: their prices came down again man! I paid $3 for the Jim and Coke and only $3.75 for the Jack. It's just like the good old days! Ahhh!

Haha, so after about a half hour of drinking we headed back to Elena's to see if shit ever jumped off over there, and wouldn't you know the place was packed with dykes. I don't get it, it's like all of West Philly Dykedom decided to get there at exactly 11:45pm. But whatever, it was poppin! Me and Jessye did Jack shots and I switched to beer. We danced when the music was good, and snuck out for cigarettes when it blew. We ran into Rachel and her gf, Linda, who both live in West Philly now, and YOU WILL NEVER GUESS. So I'm dancing and someone taps me on the shoulder and says "Hey, Allyn" and makes this gesture with open arms, like "It's me!" It was so dark all I could see was short dreads, and I was drunk and yelled "I can't make out your face!" And then she moved into the light and it was ALYSSA!!!

Yay!!! I was so super thrilled to see her again! Especially out and about, after her whole crazy thing with Kepa and being all super-Christian and wearing long drab skirts or whatever was up with that!! And as it turns out, the reason her dreads were so much shorter is she chopped them all off when she dropped Kepa. So now she's living with Rachel. We also ran into Corrine (who by the way looked all the fuck strung out or something) and Kistine and Johnny - you know, all those West Philly queers who are at every damn West Philly queer thing lol.

Anyway, they turned the lights on at like 1:50 - lame! But Linda invited me and Kim (Jessye had crapped out long ago) back to her apartment to keep drinking. So we shot the shit - as best we could, being most of us fairly smashed - and listened to music and Linda opened like 3 bottles of wine and poured us some absinthe. Eventually, Rachel passed out sitting in her chair, and Alyssa gave me a ride back to Kim's place. And OMG! You remember how we made each other mix CDs way back when? Well she had mine in her car stereo! LOL! And we just kept drunk babbling about how awesome we each think the other one is, and she was talking about how if Rachel ended up moving out, she wants me to be her roommate. I was just like, hell yeah! Maybe I won't end up living in my parents house forever! Haha. And it's even something I can start thinking about when I get bumped to full time.

Anyway, I seem to have written you something of an encyclopedia here. I guess that's what I get for not writing all week. Nothing much is up in other news. I continue to be doing well with my diet and exercise routine, although that, too, will be much easier when I have a regular work schedule (be still my heart!). I hope things are going well with you, after you rightly decided to spit that shit out after the date, lol. Any new adventures? Mischief? Holla back bro!

Things are looking up in the City of Brotherly Love,


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